Addiction - Troyler AU

Chapter 12

Tyler

flashback

"Tyler have you heard this?" Zoe called from the other room. The music playing from the next room was from a new artist, one with a gorgeous brown quiff and a beautiful taste in a unique dark pop style. But there were other things on my mind right now.

I had to let her know. She still didn't know what really happened that day she spoke to me at the back of the coffee shop, and she never dared to ask questions. For weeks she had stuck by me, and for a while I believed she had forgotten what happened, until I see her look at me in the eye after a long night. It's as if she could tell I was suffering with more than I had told her. I didn't hate my job, but it wasn't the kind of thing I wanted to be doing when I was grieving.

"Tyler?" A small voice appeared out of nowhere, the source of the sound being much closer. I turned around to look at the concerned eyes at Zoe gave me.

"Sorry Zo, I was just thinking" I lied. I wasn't just thinking, I was wondering how I was going to stop myself from crying. To her I looked like I was weak, unable to take on work. For someone like her who was capable of working as many hours as I did without working up a sweat, I looked pathetic. At least I was fortunate enough to live in a town I was familiar with.

"Do you miss her?" Zoe whispered. I grimaced at the way she referred to my mother as 'her'. I needed her right now, and I still couldn't believe she was actually gone.

"It's not just that Zoe..." I sighed. She had to know. All she thought was that I had lost my mother and I was working more than your average person, she didn't know what my other job actually was.

Her expression changed as she studied me curiously. I tried not to let myself back out of this. I needed at least one person to know, I couldn't bear it. What if my instincts were right? What if this job isn't good for me? Maybe I should be working the night shifts at the airport like Zoe did.

"Y'know that night we first spoke? and I told you how working these extra hours weren't working for me?"

"Well of course Ty, you lost your mum"

"No Zoe, it's not just that. Yes, I need to grieve, but the job I've been working at isn't what I want to be doing when I'm in a state like this." I choked. Shit, I didn't want to cry. It isn't that bad is it? Had I seriously ended up like this? I wanted a better life than this one, but it was as if I was addicted. I had worked at this job for so long now, could I really stop? Maybe it was my chance to escape this world I had chosen to live, but I wasn't sure if I could.

Biting my lip hard, I tried to regain my voice, breathing in before looking back up at Zoe.

"A few months ago-" I started, now deciding to look past Zoe, knowing I couldn't look her in the eye, "-I joined an agency, one that I found through a friend. She said it could work for me, considering I needed the money, and without giving it much thought, I went for it." I said, feeling my throat hurt from stopping the cries and the tears wanting to form.

"I got used to it-" I continued, "-and for a while I really enjoyed it, but then it wasn't for enjoyment any more, it was like I was feeding an addiction" I said, feeling my voice crack.

"I don't know what you mean" Zoe said, looking at me with concerned eyes and a tilt of her head, curiosity radiating off her.

"Please don't be disgusted with me Zo-" I said, before taking a deep breath, "I work as an escort. I sleep with people for money."

Present

*time skip*

I woke up one morning feeling a slight bit different from usual. The bed that I woke up in felt empty, and for a split second I believed I had woken up in my own bed, in my own flat. But, as my conscious mind began to come around, I realised the room smelt different, the sheets felt different, and the overall feeling of the room around me didn't feel like home. My eyes slowly opened and I was met with rays of sunshine scattered over my face, blinding my vision of where I was. Moving my head to the side, blinking rapidly, I found my glasses perched on the bedside table.