I Want Her

I can't lose them

"All that's left is for you to sign here..." Lindsey pointed at the bottom of the page. "...and here..."

There was a knock on the door, interrupting the meeting. Lindsey hated it and he was ready to tell off whoever was to barge in. "Uh, Lindsey-"

"Not now, Tom."

"But-"

"I'm working as I'm sure you can see that."

"It's Stevie."

"What? What's wrong with Stevie?" Lindsey jumped up to his feet immediately. 

"She's in labor."

Lindsey couldn't believe what he just heard. "That can't be right! She's, my God, she's only seven months pregnant!"

"The hospital just called asking for you, well, Stevie's asking for you."

Lindsey turned to his client, apologizing. "I'm so sorry, but I have to leave you in the hands of my very capable partner. I... I have to run, I'm sorry."

"I understand." The man nodded and then Tom took over, while Lindsey grabbed his car keys and rushed outside and to his car.

He hurried to the hospital and when there, he was told were Stevie was and where to go to get some more information. He thanked the woman at the front desk and literally ran to where he was told to.

He was looking around frantically for someone; a nurse, a doctor, anyone. He then felt a hand on his shoulder and he jerked around, wide-eyed. "Are you Mr. Buckingham?"

"Yes! Please, tell me something about my girlfriend! Where is she? How is she? Can I see her?"

"Calm down, Sir. Ms. Nicks is in surgery right now, the doctor had to do a c-section."

Lindsey had never been as worried, running a hand through his hair, feeling his eyes filling up with tears. "What happened? She's... She wasn't supposed to deliver our baby in two more months."

"Ms. Nicks called herself an ambulance, saying that her waters broke and that it was way too early. When she was brought here, the doctor ran some tests and he said she was very weak and completely stressed out, simply unable to go through with the natural childbirth. Trust me, it's better this way. There wasn't any bleeding or anything like that, many factors could have caused for the baby to come prematurely. So, she should be just fine."

"I'm relieved to hear Stevie will be fine, but... but our baby?"

The nurse exhaled heavily, shrugging her shoulders. "I can't tell you anything as of now, not until the procedure is over."

"I can't... I can't lose either of them." It was so rare for Lindsey to be emotional, especially to a complete stranger, but he was so taken over by his emotions he couldn't hold them in.

"Don't be so negative. Seven months is definitely better than six. Seven month babies have perfect chance at life. Of course, I can't lie and say they all survive, but that's usually the case. It's a lot harder  for the little ones to hang onto life, but you just have to believe they will."

A few more minutes the nurse spent calming Lindsey down and when he seemed as good as he could be at the moment she left him alone. The operation took about another thirty minutes since he had arrived and after an hour or so more, the same nurse approached Lindsey again.

"How did it go?" He asked before she could say anything.

"Ms. Nicks is resting right now."

"Can I see her?"

"Wouldn't you like to see your daughter first?" The nurse smiled and he had never felt so relieved. "Follow me."

He was led to the intensive care unit, the incubators scaring him, as he question why his child had to start her life this way. She was just a tiny baby, what had she done to deserve this? He was chocked up, when the nurse guided him to his baby daughter, not fighting back the tears any longer. 

"She's so small."

"But she's just fine. I know it all looks really scary, but she's doing alright. Do you have a name, by the way?"

"Yeah, uh..." He nodded. "Ella. Ella Buckingham."

Then Lindsey was finally led to see Stevie, who was sleeping when he walked into her room. God, she had to be such a mess, she had to be crazy with worry... Lindsey pulled up a chair and sat by her side, taking her hand and holding it the whole time until she woke up.

"Hey, sweetheart..." 

Stevie instantly dissolved into tears, she had no idea what followed after she was brought to the operating room, assuming the worst. "I'm so sorry, Lindsey."

"What do you mean? You've got nothing to be sorry about, baby." He kissed the back of her hand, reaching to smooth out her hair. "Our daughter is just perfect."

"Are you saying that..."

"That our beautiful Ella is doing just fine, Stephanie."

"Oh God..." She cried, clutching his hand tightly. "Did you see her?"

"Mhm, yes I did. She's... well, she's tiny. The nurse said that she'll be having trouble breathing, eating and staying warm on her own for a while, but the incubator she's in right now, will help her with it, to bring her to the weight she's supposed to be at."

"This was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives." Stevie spoke, a steady stream of tears falling down her cheeks. "I don't know what happened, I just felt-"

"Stevie, stop. This is the happiest day of our lives. We have a daughter, baby. A beautiful daughter, who will grow up to do wonderful things in life."

"Thank you for being so supportive and strong for us both, Linds. I really need that right now."

"I know and I am here for you, you can be sure about it." He carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and bent over to give her a kiss. "You should sleep some more, honey. You must be exhausted."

Stevie nodded, sighing. "I am. But if the nurse comes back, saying I could see Ella, you wake me up."

"Of course." Lindsey smiled, kissing her again. "Now rest."

She fell asleep almost right away, while he remained sitting by her side, stroking her hair, running his thumb over her knuckles, only then allowing himself to fall apart again...