I Want Her

I'll do anything

It was already visiting hours at the hospital, but Lindsey was still at home, trying to prepare himself for the day. He didn't receive any calls since the night before, but he was still nervous; what if something did happen? Doctors make mistakes all the time, what if they had overlooked something and when he got to the hospital, he would be told he couldn't see his daughter, because... because... Lindsey shook his head, trying to distance himself from such thoughts. He also worried about Stevie. He knew she was going to heal physically, but emotionally? She loved their baby from the moment she found out she was expecting, she was still making so many plans, they hadn't even had the nursery done yet... And even though it wasn't a big deal, Lindsey would have it finished in no time, he knew that it wasn't exactly about that for Stevie. Their girl meant the world to her and this was surely going to affect her immensely. 

Lindsey wasn't as lost as he was the day before, when he arrived at the hospital. He made his way to Stevie's room, greeting the nurse that passed him by, before he stopped to open the door to see Stevie. 

He saw her picking at her food, a tray placed on her lap, she lifted her eyes up at him, but failed to acknowledge his presence in any way. Lindsey walked to stand by her side, as he leaned in and kissed the top of her head, placing the flowers he brought on the nightstand. 

"Any good?" He half smiled, pointing at the food. Stevie just shrugged and lifted the tray off her lap, handing it to Lindsey to put it away. "These are for you, in case you haven't guessed it yourself." He showed at the bouquet of different wildflowers, which he knew were her favorite. 

"Thanks." She said, turning to lay on her side.

"Should I just leave you alone?" 

"No, stay."

Yeah, this was not going to be easy. "How are you feeling today?"

"Better, I suppose."

"Yeah, you look better too. You were so tired last night."

"What took you so long to come back?"

Lindsey was caught off guard a little by the question, for a moment he thought she didn't want him around to begin with. "I, uh..." He sighed. "Honestly, I was readying myself to face you. I couldn't stop myself from thinking of the things that might have happened since I left."

She teared up, reaching out for his hand. "It's okay. I can't be selfish about this, I know it's hard for you as well."

"It is, it really is, Steph. You said you need me to be strong, but..."

"Lindsey, it's fine. I understand. We just... we need each other right now."

He nodded, sitting down by her side. "Has the doctor come in to check on you yet?"

"No, the nurse said he would after breakfast time."

"And Ella? Any word?"

"That she's not gotten worse."

"But she's not gotten better?"

"I don't know, Linds..."

"Sorry, I just... I think I dreamed the whole night about her."

"At least you've seen her."

"As you will too. I'm sure it's because of your scar, nothing else."  

Stevie didn't say anything else, as she kept staring blankly at nothing in particular. It physically hurt Lindsey to witness her in such a state, as he subconsciously shook his head sadly, never losing touch with her.

After about an hour, the doctor came in to the room, looking rather positive. Lindsey got off the bed, pulling up a chair, anxiously awaiting for whatever the doctor was about to say.

"Good morning, Stephanie. How are we today?"

"Not much better in comparison to yesterday."

"That is to be expected. Are you hurting? Did you eat anything?"

"Not... really... I'm not hungry. And it's not that I'm hurting, but I feel very uncomfortable. I'm afraid the stitches will tear apart."

"Don't worry about it." The doctor waved it off. "Probably everyone feels like it, but I can assure you that they won't tear apart. Why don't we take a look at it? Lay on your back for me."

"Can I stay?" Lindsey asked.

"If our patient here feels comfortable with it, I can't see why not." 

Stevie just squeezed his hand and he remained seated, when the doctor pulled the covers away and lifted her gown up higher around her waist. It didn't take long before he covered her again. 

"It looks alright. It will take some time before it heals fully and isn't as red anymore, but it will. Now... if you promise to eat more during the next meal, how about I organize you a wheelchair and bring you to see your daughter?"

That definitely caught Stevie's attention, as she teared her eyes away from Lindsey and cast them on the doctor. "Seriously?"

"Yes. That is if you feel up to it and-"

"Of course! I want to see her more than anything right now."

"Well then, I'll come back later." The doctor smiled and left the room.

"How about that, baby?" Lindsey smiled widely, wiping away Stevie's tears. "But you heard what he said, you have to be a good girl and eat more, so you're strong again."

"I'll do anything, Lindsey."

Lindsey suggested she slept until the doctor returned, but she was too excited to keep her eyes shut. They spent several hours talking, Lindsey trying to bring up topics that would take their minds off the situation, or they stayed silent, enough for them to feel each other close.

When the door opened again, Stevie's doctor came back with the wheelchair and she was ready to jump out of the bed herself. "No, no. No, we'll take this a lot easier." He laughed lightly. "Would you, Mr.-"

"Lindsey. Call me Lindsey."

"Alright then. Would you mind lifting Stephanie out of the bed, Lindsey? I don't want her to stand yet."

"Sure." He did so with ease and he also put a blanket over her lap, so she wouldn't get cold.

When the three of them got to the intensive care unit, Stevie made Lindsey stop for a minute. She took deep breaths, with her eyes closed, repeating to herself not to get too emotional or worried about the state her girl was in. But quite frankly, she knew that was impossible.

"I'll leave you two alone." The doctor said, since Lindsey knew how to get to their daughter.

He pushed the wheelchair, bringing them to Ella, seeing Stevie's eyes brim with tears as soon as he stopped by the incubator. He knelt in front of her, taking the hold of her hands, as he kissed them.

"Look at me, Steph. She's fine, okay? She's just really small, but she's doing alright."

"Indeed she is." The same nurse from the day before smiled, when the two of them turned to look at her. "Ella is a strong girl. I... I've seen too many of preemies. I can honestly say you will be bringing her home from the hospital in no time."

"Thank you. We need to hear this." Lindsey said, concentrating back on Stevie, whose eyes were fixed on their girl. "What are you thinking, sweetheart?"

"How much I love her. She will always come first, Lindsey."

"She will, baby, she will. She's what's most important in our lives." He was quite surprised at how well she was keeping herself. 

"Can you give me a moment?"

"Of course. I'll be outside, take as long as you like." She let him kiss her on the lips and then Lindsey left, releasing a deep breath he was holding. 

Stevie's a lot stronger than I've given her credit for, he thought to himself, looking through the glass wall at her clearly talking to Ella about something, seeing her smile as she put her hand up, desperately wanting to feel their daughter. 

Then he told himself, we will get through this together.