Chapter 14

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by puttblug

by puttblug

Ricky POV:

I come home to find Amy singing to Dianna again. After having our daughter, she always seemed to be singing. Her voice was sweet and harmonic. "You know Amy, you have a really pretty voice." She looked up at me and smiled, gesturing to a sleeping baby in her arms. Her lullaby had put Dianna to sleep. But it wasn't until she spoke that I noticed the pain hiding behind her joyful hazel eyes, intertwined into the silky tone of her lullaby. "I'm such an idiot." She said. I did not even have to ask to know that this was because of ben. I sat next to her on the sofa and wrapped my arms around her body. After wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, I withdrew from our embrace and stood up. "I love you so much." I said before leaving to go cook some dinner. I never asked any what was wrong. I didn't need to. Everything was wrong.

Amy POV:

"Ricky?" I asked, sounding timid, "I'm really scared." He looked over at me from the kitchen. "I know baby." He said, "it's all gonna be okay." After about fifteen minutes, there was someone at the door, ringing the bell repeatedly. I rushed to the kitchen, where Ricky was finishing dinner and said "Ricky. Can you please get that?" I felt bad asking him to do such a simple task for me, but I was still afraid of answering the door to people. When Ricky answered the door, I was suddenly very grateful that I was not the one to open the front door. Ben was standing on the front step, looking very confused and angry. "Ricky." He said. "I need to talk to you." Ricky seemed to be seething with anger, but he let Ben in anyway. Feeling safe with Ricky here, I decided to see what Ben had to say. "What makes you think I want to talk to you?" Ricky asked. Ben seemed to be very confused. "Why are you so freaking mad at me? I came to ask you why you tried to get me arrested." Ricky was the one confused now. "It's not mad, it's angry and I'm angry at you because you raped my wife." Ben looked startled. "Amy?" He asked. "I would never rape her." "Well, you did. And according to her you were drunk, too."

Ben POV:

I couldn't believe my ears. I did not rape Amy. Everything seemed like complete nonsense until Ricky said that I was drunk when it happened. I do remember being angry one afternoon for a reason that I cannot recall, but I had some beers and apparently got drunk and raped my ex-girlfriend. After a few seconds I saw Amy in the corner of the room, terror in her eyes. It wasn't until I saw her horrified expression, that the puzzle pieces finally came together. I remembered that look. The terror and dread in her eyes. I remembered that day in flashes. Pushing Amy on the couch. Tearing off her shirt. Laughing as she screams for help. I am a terrible person.

After minutes that seemed like hours of Ricky screaming at me and Amy watching in horror in the background, I left. I stormed out of the house and went back to my home. I still lived with my dad and was taking classes at a local community college. Once I got home, I rushed to my room and began to scribble my thoughts down on a piece of paper.

How could I do this? I never would have imagined that I would ever rape someone. Especially Amy. And to make matters worse, I'm still dating Grace and I was when I raped Amy. I am such a horrible person. Sometimes I do things I regret and I can't fix it. This is one of those times. I wish that I had never asked Amy out on a date in freshman year. I would never be in this predicament if I hadn't. Sometimes I wish I could die. This is also one of those times. I just hope that today will be my last day and that I never have to encounter a human being again. I guess this is goodbye then.

After writing this passage, I realized how much pain I was in. I guess I had done such a good job of hiding my emotions that even I didn't realize that I was depressed. I wished I could end my life. I wished I wouldn't have to face anyone again. But thinking of my family and friends, I realized that I'd be hurting them by hurting myself.

Amy POV:

After Ben had left, all Ricky was able to do was rant and ramble on and on about Ben. After some time, Ricky was literally screaming and cussing. "Ricky." I said firmly. "Please stop. You're scaring me. And probably John, too." He looked at me apologetically and embraced me in his arms. He smelled like a warm breeze, like safety, like comfort. Although I loved him, a part of me wished that we'd never met at band camp. I wished that I was a normal teenager that could go to the mall with her friends and go places on weekends instead of just taking care of children. I wished I could just have a normal life.