Camera {Malum}

March 12th

It had been about three weeks since I had found out about Michael's death.

Apparently, he had already died before I had even gotten my camera back, so there had been no chance we could've crossed paths anyway.

And it hurt.

Those three weeks, I had been hurting. A lot.

The first few days, I had been crying and lying in my room, doing absolutely nothing.

After the first few days, I allowed Ashton into my room and I told him everything, which may have taken a while because I kept crying. I even had a small panic attack.

But, he managed to calm me down and get the whole story, cuddling with me afterwards.

It then took a few days for me to get even the smallest bit closer to getting back into a normal pattern of living, but Ashton helped me a lot.

The only good thing that happened to me was when I received a letter of the music school I had wanted to go to. I was accepted.

My family and Ashton had celebrated it, trying to get me to celebrate it too, but all I could manage was a small (very small) smile.

And then, today, Ashton had come to my room and announced that he had gotten to talk to Luke.

Luke.

The best friend. The blonde haired boy. The one who had always been there for him.

Ashton had barged in and dragged me from my bed, telling me to get dressed and come along.

I had obliged, slowly trudging to my closet and pulling out some clothes. I ended up wearing black skinny jeans and a big sweater.

As my hands had disappeared in my sleeves, Ashton had pulled my along to the coffee shop, where my eyes had immediately fallen upon the blonde boy with the black lipring.

And that is how I ended up across from Luke, with a cup of coffee and a sad atmosphere.

As I looked Luke over once, I noticed that he was wearing a familiar black sweater with writing.

5 Seconds of Summer.

Michael's sweater.

"So, eh," Luke awkwardly started, playing with his lipring. "I'm sorry I ran away, like, that one time."

I nodded once, speaking softly, "I guess I understand."

"I just, I'm still sorry," he sighed softly, looking up at me through his eyelashes.

I shrugged, pulling my sleeves further over my hands. Luke was playing with his lipring again, his eyes on his coffee.

"I talked to Ashton, earlier. And, well, it made me think," Luke spoke, looking up at me as I looked back, "I feel like I should tell you some things about Michael. Or at least answer questions about him."

I bit the inside of my lip at the mention of his name, feeling the pain that had lessened slightly return heavily. "Yeah," I almost croaked out.

"Well, let's start of with something that was really obvious," Luke said, speaking a little louder than before, but still a bit careful, "he absolutely loved making those videos. He was so happy, even when he was doing a little worse with the day.

I haven't seen him that happy since he got the news he might not live to see the fireworks. Which was painful. Especially since that would be because he denied to be treated.

But, he was determined to prove the doctors wrong and I honestly believe making those videos helped him get through all the shit he was dealing with. So basically you helped him. You made him happy.

Which was in a way weird, I suppose, because all he had was that one video of you. But he didn't care. He kept making videos and being his goofy self and it made me happy to see him happy, even if he wasn't really okay.

But unfortunately, it didn't last that long after the fireworks, so I guess the doctors weren't that wrong." Luke sighed, as tears were brimming my eyes at his story.

"Life can do terrible things," he said, his lower lip wobbling slightly. I frowned, before realising we were basically in the same boat.

I got up, walking over to his side and motioning for him to scoot over. Luke seemed a bit confused, but he scooted over nonetheless.

As I sat down, I pulled my coffee to this side, letting it be for a moment as I turned to Luke. "I'm sorry," I told him quietly, before wrapping my arms around him tightly.

A choked sob escaped him, before his arms came around me as well. He buried his face in my neck, his tears dripping onto my skin.

I patted his back, nuzzling my face in his hair as I clenched my eyes shut, trying not to cry. But as the blonde, who was basically in my lap, was crying, I couldn't help myself.

Tears ran down my cheeks, dripping into Luke's hair. But neither of us minded. Because after all, we really were in the same boat.

"And-and the w-worst thing," Luke stuttered out, sniffing, "I... I was the one," he wheezed, sniffing again, "I found him."

I pulled Luke closer, my arms tightening around him as my face buried deeper into his hair, his voice barely reaching my ears, "just, just a little late."