Fate or not?- Konnor Fan Fic

Back to the Basics and more details

I going to flip back to the beginning of this which began with a letter. I suppose at the time, I really believed I liked Connor and I really thought he felt the same way but to be honest, nothing could prepare me for what would happen next. I suppose like I said, life is always filled with uncertainty and I suppose that was what exactly happened. The letter you got was:

"Hi

I find this a strange a way to communicate my feelings to you but I know that if I don't, I will go mad and I will go insane. I like you. I mean I really like you and I haven't had a strong feeling like this in a really long time. It's like you've opened up something in me that I can't hide and I know that I am ready to finally be me. And it's all because of you." But to be honest with you all, I actually wrote two. And I know you have two questions. One is "Hang on. You've made it clear that you're not bi at all and yet in this, you admitted feelings for Connor" and the other is: "What did the other letter say? And why did you never give it to him?" and to be honest, I still to this day are still looking for those answers. I am not avoiding them at all. I just don't even know the answers to them and if I tried, it would probably pull me a part further as a person and it would probably break me. And to be honest with you, I don't want to go there. And no matter how much things draw me to that place, I will never want to go there because I know what I will find. I will find a place that hides my deepest fears and demons that I am afraid to confront and to be honest, I don't want to confront what lurks beneath.

I suppose after all that, you're wondering what the other letter was and what Connor said in response to the letter and in a way, I am reluctant to share and tell you what actually happened between Connor and I because as I currently write this, I can feel my heart racing and the feeling of dread and pain returning. I will share it no matter how hard because in a way, it's in the past and I need to confront it in a really strange and personal way because I know that I can finally find a way to move on. I will explain what happened and how it changed things and shook it all up.