Fate or not?- Konnor Fan Fic

Thinking and ending with a new light

As I try and think about finishing this off, I sit and think. Currently as I re-tell this and think about how much J.C helped, I can see Sam and Ricky's headstones in the distance with the flowers I recently placed and a letter buried in both and I suppose that's how I am going to finish this. As it begun with a letter, it's only fitting to finish it with three different letters. The one I wrote to both Sam and Ricky and also the letter I originally wrote to Connor before the other one. And as I sit and I think, I know that sometimes fate tricks you and takes it so far that you can't understand where it will take you and sometimes you have to go along for the crazy journey and follow it no matter what happens and I suppose that's what exactly happened with me and as I look and think, I do regret it but it taught me things I never knew I could learn. And in a way, that's the main thing I take away. Not the way Connor left me feeling. Not the feeling of sitting on my floor in a numb induced state. Not the feeling of uncertainty. I take away the feeling of knowing what to expect and how to be prepare in life and in a way, I think that's the best thing to take away. Yes I lost Connor but I found myself in the progress and for that exact quality, I will be always thankful no matter what happens.

Ricky's letter:

Hey Rickster,

I really miss you dude. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss your cheekiness. I miss the long conversations that we use to have randomly at 3am. I miss getting absolutely drunk with you and running half naked around some guys' house. I miss a lot about you and I really miss not being able to see you every day and miss being able to just be me with you. I hope you and Sam are doing okay. Both J.C and I are and I know that we both really miss you. Don't lose your cheekiness.

From Kian"

Sam's letter:

Hey Pottorff,

Never thought I would have to write something like this to you but to be honest as I do, I have one memory that pops into my mind. I remember you and me when we were about 8 in my kitchen at home making pancakes randomly at 4am because we were hungry. I remember we were trying to be quiet and I remember you trying to grab the flour off the top shelf but because you were a lot shorter than me, it fell on top of you until you were coated white. I remember that because it was one of the first times I really saw your rebellious and carefree spirit that I really miss today. I do miss you heaps bro and I always will. You were more than my best friend. You were my brother and you always will be.

Blood Brothers for life.

Signing off

Kee"

Connor's letter:

Hey,

I find this incredibly hard to write because it's pretty stupid but to be honest with you, I like you Connor. I like you more than you could ever imagine and honestly I know I shouldn't but I can't do it anymore.
I love the way your hair falls. I love your smile and creative spark. You make me feel like I can conquer anything and I know that I can do anything with you by my side. I know that sounds stupid but we have defied a lot so far and I know that there are more challenges to come. You really mean a lot to me and I am not letting you slip away. Not for a second.

Yours with a little and a lot of love

Kian Lawley, the person and guy that is completely and utterly in love with you"