Letters To You

Truth

10/14/15
The whole truth finally came out last night, so needless to say I never went to sleep. Then again I have forgotten what sleep truly is this past week. My mind won't shut up long enough for sleep to find me, and when it does I'm only asleep for an hour or two before my body jerks forward from sleep and everything crashes into me again. It's like for the first time, sleep can't even help me forget.

You told me last night around 3am that who messages girls at 1am, idk. I finally caught you in the lie and you admitted that the reason you would message her, was because she was on your mind , and you wanted to see what she was doing because you guys didn't talk all day. You told that you were afraid what she was going to think of you and you wanted to impress her, but you were afraid since she was so religious that she would stop talking to you as soon as she learned about your darken past.

What's funny in this all is, I was the reason your darken path got lighten. I was there and the reason why you stopped drugs. I knew you were better then that, and I thought you were better then this.

Right before we got together, you stopped drugs and all the illegal crap you did for me, because you loved me and knew I hated all that stuff. Knew I couldn't except it when my own father isn't in my life because of it.

Everything you use to think about me, wanting to impress me, wanting to get to know me, how you fell asleep thinking of me or talking to me. You started doing it with her.

I wasn't the only girl who invaded your thoughts anymore, I had to make room and scoot over for another. And I'm sorry but that's not how it works when you're in love. I do believe at one point you truly loved me, but you stopped the moment you messaged those girls and hid it.

I told you I couldn't be more then friends with you because I wasn't going to be with someone I can't trust , and I couldn't be with someone who wasn't only thinking of me.

God I wish it was anyone but you , anyone else to screw me under then you. Because I truly loved you, and I still do.

I guess that's how you know it's love, when you start trying to understand why they did it to you. But I guess it also means, our time has run out.

It's time to move on...