Letters To You

Contentment

10/17/15 12:38am

Two weeks ago , two weeks ago I fell asleep with you. Two weeks ago you kissed my forehead goodnight and held me in your arms. We didn't do anything else, you just held me until I fell asleep. We were suppose to be watching movies and doing whatever stupid things we could think of with your brother and my sister, but I wasn't feeling too well; so you decided we should lay in your bed till I felt better. I ended up falling asleep though, your presence was always so comforting. Made me feel so secure, like nothing was going to hurt me while I was in your arms, that become home to me.

I ended up waking up an hour later an checking on you, but you were asleep as I was curled up by your side. Your mouth partly open, I just stared for a bit with a smile on my face. I've never slept next to you like this all night, so when your parents were away and said we could stay over, I was excited. And surprised my mom let me, but she trusted me enough to.

After staring at you for a bit, knowing I'd remember this night forever, I got up and used the restroom and checked on my twin sister to see if she was up but she was passed out too, which made me laugh. I quickly made my way back to you and before I knew it, I was falling back to sleep with a smile.

I ended up waking up a few times that night, looking around your room while I laid next to you. Taking in the moment as much as I could.

When my eyes fluttered open again, it was still dark outside; you came in the room from what I assumed was using the restroom.

Closing the door softly, trying to not make it squeak so much, careful not to wake me, before sliding in next to me. My eyes were closed, but I still heard you. I always heard you.

You leaned in and kissed my forehead , pulled me carefully close to you and whispered you loved me. I didn't say anything back, I just smiled with my eyes closed and let my body mold with yours. That was how I said I loved you, by being quiet and taking you in. Embracing the silent moment and the way you breathed next to me. It was the most content feeling I've had with you, and I kept thinking how I would love to do this again. How I couldn't wait till morning so I could wake up laying next to you.

I wish that I could wake up from this pain, roll over and see you there. Hear you whisper you loved me as I wake from my hazy state of sleep, kiss my forehead so I know nothing will harm me while you're here. I want to wake up to see you staring at me with such admiration, I question what you're thinking about when you look at me like that, the way you always look at me when I wake up from a nap and catch you staring, like you've been watching me the whole time in complete contentment.

I miss that...

I miss us...

But most of all, I miss you and how we were before our worlds ended...