Letters To You

My Beautiful Secret

Picture above was a pretty good day for us, but it was also two weeks before my graduation. You see I don't see happy pictures anymore, I see a timeline of when he messaged all these girls. This was a couple days before he did, or maybe he already was.

11/16/15

This pain will end, I eventually won't be crippled by the hands of heartbreak when I look at you. Your name that lays across my lips from our last kiss will no longer burn my at night. The countless words I want to say won't feel like I'm swallowing lead when I know I can't say those things anymore.

Focus on your writing, bleed out your heartbreak on the pages that are filled by tears of pain. I will myself not to show weakness. Tears won't always burn the back of my eyes , like salt on an open wound. Your days will get better, each tear falling will let me see a clearer picture as I find myself again in the lost pages that have been ripped out and burned to keep this fire in our relationship burning. I will be happy again, I will clear this roadblock and get myself out of this rut. I will patch up the parts of me you took, and gave away to those other girls.

I will learn that there's more to my book then this bittersweet chapter. It's time to turn the page and see what else is waiting for me.

I'll always love you, but I can't keep destroying myself to fix what you broke. It's time I learn my worth, that there's nothing wrong with me, you just weren't ready like you said you were.

And even though that's the most cruelest thin you could have done, I'll take you and hide you somewhere safe in my heart. Where damage hasn't touched.

Where I can revisit you on the days when I can't remember how your lips felt on mine, or the arms that held me tight, or the way you whispered my name as a smile took over your face. I'll revisit you all the time and ask how you are. Like two old friends meeting up and talking over coffee.

Because like you had your secret, I have mine.

I'll see you soon...