All the Waters of the Earth

Chapter 23: Part of My Family

Several feelings rushed through my body, and countless thoughts raced around my head. But the most prevalent thought was: what the fuck do we do now?

Jake walked over to the side of the hall, leaned his forehead against the wall, and stayed here a moment. When he pulled back to gaze at me, the look of pain on his face physically hurt me.

"Lucy—" he started, but I interrupted him, shaking my head.

"Give me a minute."

I moved next to him, my back to the wall, and then collapsed to sit down on the floor, my knees to my chest, my arms hugging my legs. I needed to regroup, to analyze, to think. In this position, I was sure that I looked defeated, but I didn't feel that way; I felt more like I needed to just pause for a moment.

The most important thing to me in the world was Roberto. This family law proceeding had turned Carlos, with whom I had never had a good relationship, into a total dick, and a total idiot. Well, he had always been selfish, and now he was just showing it even more. And then my new boyfriend hit him, which he deserved, but I still did not like. I figured I'd start there.

"I thought you were the artsy type," I whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"What were you doing hitting him? Do you have anger issues? I didn't think you had that in you?"

"Neither did I," he replied, bitterly. "I haven't been in a fight since high school."

We were silent for a moment. Then Jake crouched down next to me, put his hands on my knees, and looked at me, imploring. "The last thing I want is to hurt you. I keep trying to protect you, and I keep fucking it up."

"Maybe I don't need protection," I said. "Maybe I'm fine the way I am."

He gave me a wry smile. "You are more than fine the way you are. It's a lawyer thing. At work, I will do anything to protect my clients. Now, I want to protect you just as fiercely, just as intensely. I care about you, Lucy, and I fucked it up again."

"You were protecting me," I stated, as I thought about his words. I loved that he said he cared about me.

"Yeah. It looked like he was going to hit you. There's no way I'd let him do that. I tried to stay out of it but it went too far." He paused, and then looked analytical. "Putting my lawyer hat on, I don't know how this is going to play out. He clearly violated a court order by taking Rob across state lines. He also threatened you verbally, and physically. His lawyer will spin it that I'm violent. The thing is, I'm not really. I can still testify, and so can you."

"There's probably footage," I said, and he nodded, and let out a breath, and sat down next to me, his back against the wall.

"Let's hope it shows Carlos in his glory."

"I don't know what to do with you right now," I said. "I am so grateful to you for coming here with me, and having my back. And yeah, I was scared of Carlos. I'm both pissed that you hit him, and happy that you hit him. I'm a mess right now."

"I wasn't going to put up with that shit, Lucy, I'm sorry, but maybe I fucked up. Fuck." He looked so remorseful that I felt bad for him, but I knew that I needed to think about this from the perspective of what was best for Rob, not what was best for me or Jake.

But then I did think about it. And what would be better for Rob than someone like Jake, who was willing to stick up for his mom?

I leaned my head on his shoulder and reached for his hand.

"I'm glad you were here, tonight," I said. "I'm not happy you got in a fight, and it scared me, and I'm freaked about what's going to happen. But I'm just.... I'm glad that you were here."

"Okay," he said.

And we sat in the hallway for a while, not talking.

"No judge will take Rob away from me," I said after a moment, willing myself to believe it as I said it. "Carlos is an idiot. He was neglecting Rob here, leaving him in a hotel room while he gambled away his child support money." Then I smiled a rueful smile. "Good thing for the case that Carlos has made some mistakes, but bad for Rob. Fuck, I wish his dad were different. But he isn't."

"Should we get Rob?" Jake asked after a moment.

I nodded. I inserted the key that I had grabbed in the lock.

Rob sat in front of the television. It looked like he had not moved.

"You okay, mijo?" I asked.

He nodded, and I let out a breath. Time to talk to my kid about what had just happened. I sat down next to him, and looked him in the eyes.

"Look, me and your dad, we don't get along. This has nothing to do with you." I reached over and stroked his face. "You are the most precious thing to me. Your dad and I fought just now, and I'm sorry you had to hear it. I can't promise you that it will all be perfect in the future, but I can promise you that I love you, I always will love you, and I always will fight to make sure that you have the best life you can."

"Okay," he replied.

"Do you have any questions?  Do you need to talk about it?"

"No, mom."

"You ready to come find the room we are going to stay in?"

"I get to stay with you now?"

"Yeah," I said. "And we'll do something fun tomorrow."

Rob's eyes lit up. "Cool. I wanted to go to the Luxor."

"Then we shall, mijo."

We grabbed the small bag that Carlos had packed for Rob, went down to the reception area, and checked in. Thankfully, we were on a different floor. Walking behind Jake, holding Rob's hand, we went to the hotel room.

I knew it was going to be awkward to share a room with Rob and Jake, but I didn't want to make Jake get his own room. I couldn't say why. I just didn't.

Perhaps it was because he was becoming part of my family.

We entered the room, which had two beds. Making an executive decision, I said, "Rob, you and I sleep here, Mister Jake on the other one. Did you have dinner? Are you hungry?"

He shook his head no, he wasn't hungry.

"It's been a long day. Let's go to bed."

Thankfully, it wasn't awkward having Jake with us. We took turns getting ready for bed, and then I crawled into bed with Rob, cuddling him.

Jake came over to both of us, ruffled Rob's hair, and kissed my forehead, saying "Goodnight." And then he crawled into his own bed and turned out the light.