All the Waters of the Earth

Chapter 39: Evidence

I sat my booty down in a cushy lawyer's chair, in a cushy lawyer's conference room, wearing a professional skirt suit and heels, feeling like the inside of my stomach was going to bubble up, exit my body, and keep going out of the building.

Time for family law mediation with Carlos.

This was just a negotiation, I told myself. Amelia had told me this, too. It was voluntary. I could leave at any time. It was just to see if we could settle out of court. That would save time, money, heartache, and stress.

So fine. I was here. I didn't want to be here. But I was here. And I felt queasy from being pregnant, and queasy from worry.

Looking around the room, I noticed the coffee that I shouldn't have because of the pregnancy, bottles of water I didn't want, because I already had to pee all the time, and assorted office supplies stacked neatly in the corner of a side table. In other words, nothing comforting present in the room. I felt so out of place. And alone.

Amelia had left the room to go and talk with the mediator and the other attorney in private. Carlos and his attorney had their own room, so at least I didn't have to look at him. And I'd told Jake not to come.

Bad idea. I needed him.

No. "Need" wasn't the right word. In my life, I was beyond needing anyone, except for Rob. I could deal with my life on my own; I'd done so since I'd been pregnant with Roberto.

But I had come to some sort of realization with Jake. Maybe it was a burgeoning trust that he wasn't going to leave me; I just knew that he wasn't going to abandon me and our child the way that Carlos had, or the way his mother had abandoned him. Maybe it was simply the comfort in understanding that I had someone with me for once, who had my back. Not the way my family and my friends supported me, but as a partner. I'd never really had a partner before; with Rob's feelings and attachments to be worried about, I'd kept boyfriends away unless they were serious, and they never were. Since Jake was our neighbor, though, he'd snuck in. And I was keeping him.

Right now, he was tethered to me by my cell phone. And for once I didn't begrudge his attachment to the thing; I took comfort in the fact that his cell was an extension of his arm, attached to him at the palm. He'd promised that he would come immediately if I asked.

I absentmindedly turned the screen of my cell on and off. On and off. Waiting. Nervous. Bored. Tense.

Gah.

The door opened and Amelia walked back in, looking brisk and professional. She had a wry smile on her face, and sat down right next to me.

"Well?" I asked.

She paused. "You're right that Carlos has a gambling problem. And that's part of the reason why he's seeking to avoid paying child support. He's been searching for a quick fix to his money problems, and keeps getting deeper and deeper in the hole. That's part of what's going on."

"What's the other part."

"He's going to have another child to support."

Say what?

"What?"

"He's been dating a cocktail waitress in Vegas. Apparently she's pregnant and he wants to marry her. She's trying to get him to quit gambling. And he's worried about paying for this child in addition to Roberto."

"Oh, he's a fucked up mess."

Amelia nodded. "Yes, but it looks like he wants to do this right with the new girlfriend. He wants to be a dad for real."

Maybe.

I just looked at her, resisting putting a sassy hand on my hip.

Amelia looked back at me, thoughtful. "Lucy, I don't trust him either. But I do get the sense that he really does want to behave differently with this new child. The way his attorney is talking, it feels very sincere."