All the Waters of the Earth

Chapter 34: Suspended Animation

He blinked.

I stared at him, a tear running down my nose.

He blinked again, and cocked his head to the side, holding up a finger in suspended animation.

I bit my lip. "It's true. I just got back from the doctor's office. The antibiotics when I was sick made the pill not work."

"You're pregnant?" he whispered.

I nodded. "Yes. Not just a little bit. All the way pregnant. With your baby."

"You're pregnant with my baby?" he whispered again.

"You're freaking me out here, Jake. I haven't had time to process this. I didn't think you'd be here. I was going to plan a way to tell you, but I just found out myself and I am in total shock and I don't know what to do. I am pissed that I did this again to myself, I'm a pregnant, unwed mother yet again," I spat out angrily, and then started crying some more, "and I love children and I'll love this child and I love you and I don't know what you think or how you are going to take this and I'm scared," I finished, sobbing.

He leaned into me, and his eye twitched a little and he started to shake his head back and forth.

Oh shit.

"I never thought—" he started, still whispering, and then he stopped.

"Never thought what?" I asked. This emotional roller coaster was going to be the death of me.

"Oh, Lucy," he choked out, and reached under my arms, wrapping me in a big hug, and lifting me off the ground, spinning me around, nestling his face in my neck. Then he started repeating, "It's okay, it's going to be okay." He set me down, but didn't let go, still keeping his face in my neck.

God, did I have to push him? What did that mean? What was he thinking?

He ran both hands through the back of my hair, a soothing gesture. He stood there for a moment, looking at me.

And then he got down on both knees in front of me, pulling me to him by my waist.

And then he lifted up my blouse, and kissed my belly tenderly, reverently.

And then he brushed his hand over my belly, gently.

"Our baby is in here?" he asked.

I nodded.

With a rush, he wrapped his arms around my waist and embraced me firmly. I leaned over and nuzzled his dark, thick, good-smelling hair.

"I'm so happy," he whispered, and then he pulled back to look at me, his blue eyes moist. "So happy."

"Yeah?" I asked, hopeful.

"Yeah. I am so happy. This is my chance," he said. "I always wanted a child. This is my chance to do it right." He paused and stood up. "God I love you. I'll do anything for you."

And now my tears started welling up again, but this time I was crying with relief.

"It's going to be okay?" I asked, quietly.

"Yeah," he said, just as quiet, smiling and reassuring me, "It's going to be okay." Then he swooped down and picked me up, under my knees and neck, my booty hanging down, and carried me to the couch. "Hang on a second."

He went into the kitchen, did something, and came back, looking sheepish. "I wanted to surprise you with lunch, so I enlisted your mom. She made you a tortilla casserole. I didn't want to burn it, so I turned it off."

"You came home for me?"

He grinned. "New to me, too. I mean, I work in town. It's not like I can't take a lunch break. I thought you'd be home. Then I thought it would be nice to surprise you when you returned from wherever you were, but you surprised me. This is so surreal."

"So this is what happens when I give you keys? You surprise me with lunch from my mom? I'm good with that."

He sat down next to me on the couch, and gathered my feet into his lap. "I still need to process this," he said seriously. I reached out and ran my finger along his cheekbone.

"Me too."

"But you? How are you? How are you feeling?"

"Emotionally or physically?"

"Both."

"Emotionally? In shock. I didn't know how I could have gotten pregnant. Pissed that I am. Already in love with my baby. Our baby. Scared as to your reaction. Panicked about being left alone again."

"Not gonna happen. What about physically?"

"Crappy. Achy. I knew something was wrong."

"I'm so sorry." He paused. "Look. You're not going through this alone this time. I want to go to every doctor's appointment. Is that okay?"

"More than."

"What else do you want? Anything. If you wanted to get married today, I would do it."

I was taken aback. "Are you serious?"

He nodded. "That's not the way I wanted to do it, but yeah, I'm serious. Anything you want. We're in this together, you're not alone."

"I think we should wait," I said. "We're still new."

Jake went into analytical, problem-solving mode. "Think about what you want and need, Lucy honey, and we'll do it. I don't want to move too fast, but you and Rob can move in with me, or I'll sell my house and move here. I'd like to be with you. This speeds it up, but it's right, don't you think? I mean, you and me? I don't want to frighten you off."

"That doesn't frighten me. Being abandoned frightens me. It's fast, yeah, too fast."

"Okay," he said. "Think about it. Whatever you want to do, I'll do it." His voice softened, and got a little dreamy. "I love kids. I never thought I would have a chance for one. I had never really had a relationship that was good with anyone — I had always worked and never done anything else."

"I know."

"We're going to have a baby."

"Yes," I smiled.

"It's the best news I have ever received. Better than passing the bar, or anything having to do with work or school. The best." Given his past, this had to be true. I knew that he didn't have a lot of positive things in his past, and it was a complete relief to know that he was on board about this. If he hadn't been? I didn't know what I would have done.

He leaned over and gave me a blistering kiss, probing, wild. And then his phone in his pocket sounded. God bless him, he ignored it, moving in for a deeper kiss, starting to run his hands down my neck, my breasts.

"I could take you now," he said against the skin on my neck, "since we have a few hours before Rob has to be home."

"'Kay," I said.

We ate lunch late.

After, when we were cleaning up the dishes, and Jake was getting ready to go back to work, he checked his phone, and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Something up with work?" I asked, wiping off the counter.

"No. It's a text from my mom. She wants me to come to Arizona and meet my family."