All the Waters of the Earth

Chapter 41: Someone To Hold Onto

My fingers hovered over the keyboard of my computer.

The End.

Delete.

Ugh.

I rapped my fingers on my desk.

Was I done? I never really liked to write "The End" on my stories, because in my mind, they were never done. There was always something else that the characters could do. My characters took on a life of their own and I never liked to say goodbye.

I thought about it for a moment.

Yeah. I had finished my new novel. On deadline. And I was pleased with it. I started typing again.

The End.

Time to finalize and send it off to my editor.

After the birth of this creative project, I felt relieved and sated. But there were other things that I needed to do.

Like tell Rob that he was getting a new sibling.

And a step dad.

I got up from my desk, my body achy from pregnancy, rubbing my fingers on my gently protruding belly. Having made it through the first trimester, I couldn't wear my fitted clothes anymore. Since I normally wore yoga pants to write in, so far I'd been able to hide my condition, but it was at the point where I needed to tell everyone. I'd managed to hide it from my friends and family by saying that I couldn't go out since I'd needed to finish my book. But now that it was done, I needed to show my face and start telling people. It was time to tell Rob about the baby.

I also needed to tell him about Jake and me.

Wandering down the hall, I walked into his room. It was the sweet spot of time: after he had arrived home from school and had finished his homework, but before dinner. I knocked on his open door to politely announce my presence. Rob sat inside, reading a book, his skinny frame draped with a t-shirt that hung from his frame, ankles hanging out the bottom of his pants.

Yes, that was my son, nose in a book just like me.

"Can I talk with you?"

"Okay." He reluctantly set the book down.

Again, that was my son.

"I have a few things to tell you, and they're important." His dark eyes got big and I took a deep breath and continued. "First of all, you need to know that I love you and I have always loved you and I always will love you."

He looked at me suspiciously and said, "Yeah?"

"What do you think of Jake?" I asked.

"I like him."

"Me too, mijo. Me too. He is very special to me. In a different way than you are special to me."

"Are you going to marry him, mom?"

Smart kid. It didn't surprise me that he had figured it out. Kids often know.

"Yes," I answered. "I am."

"Does that mean we're gonna live at his house?"

"Yeah, it does."

"Do I have to switch schools?"

"No," I said. "I checked it out. You don't."

He visibly relaxed.

"What do you think, mijo?"

"Okay, I guess." He shrugged his narrow shoulders.

I gave him a smile. "There's more news." Looking back up at me blankly, he set his hand on his book in a comforting gesture. "There's going to be a new brother or sister."

"Yeah, dad already told me."

This surprised me. "He told you he was having one?"

He nodded. "He says it's a girl." Rob grimaced. "Great, a sister. Guess that will be okay, though."

"Roberto, you're going to have two baby sisters," I said quietly. "I'm pregnant too."

My son's lower lip started to quiver and he visibly grayed under his tan skin.

"No," he said. "No. You can't."

"What? Why?" I asked before I could help myself. Then I recovered. "Tell me what you're thinking, mijo." He shook his head and a tear stuck at the corner of his eye. I reached over and held him in a big hug, which he didn't return, his arms held limply down. "C'mere," I muttered into his hair. "Just because we have big changes coming up doesn't mean that my love for you will change." He nodded into my torso. "Are you scared that the baby is going to get all of the attention?"

"Both babies," he whispered.

"You're a pretty smart kid," I said. "To figure out how you feel and to tell me. Babies do take a lot of time and things will change."

I leaned back so I could study his face and watched the tear threaten to escape his tear duct. But he wiped it away with the back of his hand.

"It's a big change," I repeated. "I am scared too. And it surprised me too."

"It did?"

"Yeah. But it's a good surprise. It just takes some getting used to." I pulled him back to me in a hug.

Rob nodded and I continued, "Just think about it mijo. Jake and I are going to get married by a judge next week."

"You love him, mom?"

I nodded. "I do. Forever and ever."

"Okay," he said. "Can I read my book now?"

"Yeah." And I ruffled his hair. Just then I heard the front door open. Jake was home. He knew that I was going to tell Rob today, and he'd wanted to know if he should be there or not. I'd told him that I wanted to tell Rob by myself and he had stayed away for me to do it, even though he was in the habit of coming home earlier these days. I got up and kissed his forehead. "We can talk about it more if you want, okay?"

He nodded, his nose already back in his book.

Pausing a moment at the door to look at him, I steadied myself. I hadn't realized it, but my pulse had been racing the whole time and I'd felt flushed—not from the pregnancy. I had been nervous to tell him. Things were going to change and I was scared, too.

It was hard to be a parent when you wanted someone to hold onto yourself. I leaned my head against the door and I heard Jake call out, "Lucy?"

Righting myself, I went to the front door and got a kiss on the mouth and then a Jake kiss on my nose. "What's up? How was your day?"

Wrapping his arms around me, he lifted my chin and looked at me intently. He was my someone to hold onto. "How did it go telling Rob?"

"Okay, I think. He needs to get used to it."

He nodded and his eyes were dancing. "Good, I'm glad you told him. That's a relief. It's going to be an adjustment for us all."

"Yeah it is, but now we can tell everyone else." Like my parents. And my friends. The same feeling that I'd felt when I told Rob returned: pulse racing, face flushed. I wasn't done with my uncomfortable announcements by a long run.

Then Jake spoke. "And I've got some more news."