I•C•E// r.s.l.❣

2.1

My eyes looked upwards as a knock came to my door. I closed the drawer. "Yes?"

"May I?" I turned at Ava's voice, who had already allowed herself in. "We need to talk."

"Sure, come in." I mumbled. "What?"

She nodded to the space beside her, and I sat down, releasing a sigh. "I spoke to Ross, yesterday."

"So?"

"It's quite a big deal, I don't know if he told you; we had a night together the day before he left for his latest mission and, something has come up."

"Don't stop now." I hissed.

"I don't want to destroy your relationship, but, I'm pregnant but I don't know if it's his or..not. If so, I don't want him to leave him for you, I only want him to take his role as a father."

"You are quite the package." I looked at her. She looked stunned. "He wasn't my boyfriend at that time."

Ava continued to look at me. I grunted. "Get your foot off my chest, woman. What's done is done!"

"I expected you to scream at me."

"No." I stood up, and she continued stunned. "Jesus Christ, Avalanna. I'm going to die in two weeks, max. I have some more things on my mind. You can go now."

I made that entire last sentence up completely; it was as bogus as it could get. Right now, the last thing on my mind was my imminent death- I learnt to accept it very quickly.

What hurt is that he said that he loved me, before he left. He promised I was the only thing in his mind.

But look at the situation now.

For one moment, I wasn't everything he needed. And that killed me in a way no cyanide pill, or a bullet could.

+++

I woke up early today. I got dressed, and I fixed my hair one last time.

I walked around the compound, visiting every sector, every hallway, every room. I touched every banister, and appreciated the view out of every window.

Then I gathered my things, and I sat in the F.A.S.T. reception, taking in my surroundings. This was my last time here, and the fact that I was putting myself through this again scared me at what I could do to myself.

How I could persuade myself. I felt like there was two of me, living inside one body. One was the happy, laughing version of me that shone brightest when I was with my boyfriend. The other, consumed by anger and guilt, was a dark being, which had its moment in the spotlight only a couple of days ago, when I signed myself up for this.

My friends came by, tears in their eyes. They wished me the best, and one by one they left, the memories from the last time I left getting to them.

Then, David came, accompanied by Adam, Priscilla and Ross. That signalled it was time. My heart began to race as my Dad took me into a loving hug.

"It's not too late to back down." He whispered. I shook my head.

"I need to put a stop to this, and if I can kill two birds with one stone then, great." I stepped away from him, only to be pulled towards Ross.

He held me as tight. "Don't leave me again."

Days ago, I would have killed to hear such words from him. Today, I was indifferent.

"You'll be fine." I smiled. "You have a son to look forward to."

"She told you?"

"Yes, or were you planning to keep that a secret from me too?"

He sighed. "It isn't that easy. I couldn't just rock up to you and say that she's probably pregnant with my child."

"We weren't together, it's okay."

"It's not okay, because I love you!" Desperation finally hit him. "I don't want her to have my children; I want you to do that but that is obviously impossible if you're willing to blow yourself up! There are other ways to tackle this!"

"There isn't." I chewed on my lip to not lose it. Too little too late. "You left me for three years, for the very same reason! Were there any ways to tackle what you did to me?!"

"You left me for 3 years too! Only, you had something to do to get my mind off you- everything I did reminded me of you." I was silenced as the tears slowly made their way down his face. It wasn't sadness, I knew it, it was frustration. "You haunted every single day and I was borderline insane without you. When I found out you were alive, I just cried and I cried out of anger because I couldn't believe how I put you through such pain and how when you saw me again you had to conceal it all. I risked everything to bring you back here and get you back to your elite state, in hopes to give you a second chance, regardless of what you were doing, and I can't do it anymore when you just throw it back in my face!"

There was silence, and not for one second did we look at each other in the eyes. I doubt he will look at anybody in this room in the eyes for a while- he had a tough reputation, and it wasn't everyday you saw a19 year old guy who had a resting bitch face cry over a girl.

"When did it get so difficult?"

"What did?"

"Us." I said. "When did being with the person you love the most get this tough?"

The silence returned, but this time I was in his arms during so. He held on to me as if I was about to fall apart, and I did the same to him.

"Athena." Adam spoke. "It's time."

"Be happy for me." I kissed his cheek and he nodded, flashing me a smile. My last image of him.

I turned, walking out of the reception to the fancy black car waiting for me. I squeezed my father's hand, and got inside. Then, I broke down.

A tissue was passed to me, and I stopped abruptly, recognising the branding scar on his index finger, reading I.C.E..

"You look beautiful, Athena." Matthew said.

HELL TO THE NAW NAW