Your biggest fan, Ashton

Letter #10

You're awesome if you get any references
*possibly triggering*

Hey Luke, remember me? Remember the boy who's heart you mended just to tear it in half? Yeah that's me. It's been two months since you last spoke spoke to me. Just so you know, I forgive you. I'm not angry at you, just disappointed. You tell your fans everyday that you're a beacon of hope but I'm the one who knows that's a lie.

I continue to support your music though, I'll always support you. You're rocking it right now and I feel proud. I've have a taste of what it's like to know the real Luke Hemmings and I'm glad I knew you. I hope you're well. I hope your beard (scribbled out) girlfriend makes you happy. I hope she gives you the happiness I obviously couldn't.

As for me? Well I moved school as you know. I'm not gonna tell you that everything is tickedy boo because it's not. It seems the bullying just follows me where ever I go. Mum and dad went through a messy divorce and I ask myself when did you lose your happiness? Is it my fault?

I'm not alone but I feel more lonely than I've ever been. I have to use extreme ways to cope, to numb the pain. It helps, for a while anyway. Remember when I told you I felt like I was drowning in my own pain? Well I'm back there again, except the tides are stronger and I have no one to help me swim along with it.

I dream of a place where I'm somewhere a long way away from here. My happy place.

How are you? Do you wake up looking in the mirror and recognising the reflection staring back at you? Wish I did.

I'm not sending this letter to make you feel bad for what you did because I don't blame you. I blame me. No one can save me, I was stupid for thinking you could be the one.

I hope you're happy with out me.

All my love,

Ashton.