Feels Like Falling

part 3

Harry was asleep next to me. My mind was racing. I couldn’t understand how he could be sleeping, but he looked so perfect I couldn’t wake him. I was thinking about so many things all at once. I think I came up with eight different ways to end things with him. But then a quote from my favorite book flashed into my head They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered. That was us. Though my head was telling me to end things, my heart was telling me to snuggle in closer to him and never let go. My heart won this fight and I curled into him and he made a small noise that startled me.

            “Are you awake Harry?”           

            “Yeah, I’ve just woken up” he replied sleepily as he opened his eyes.

            Harry pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me. He squeezed me tight and kissed my nose. I laughed softly and kissed his back. I wasn’t sure what to say to him. So I was relieved when Harry broke the silence.

            “What do you make of us?” he asked curiously.

            “I suppose we should talk about that,” I said.

            Harry abruptly sat up and reached to the floor looking for his shorts. I watch every move his body made as he stood and pulled them on and walked to the bathroom.  “Mind if I wash up, Lo?” he shouted from behind the door.

            I had been up for hours so I had already showered and pulled on an old t-shirt. I sat up in bed and started to think that maybe he wanted to talk about how this was just a fling and he didn’t want anything serious. Before I could even consider how that would make me feel Harry popped out of the bathroom and walked over to me. He sat down with a thud on the end of my bed and said, “I should take you on a proper date then, yeah?” I smiled and nodded.

            We decided for or first real date we would take the train to London and go exploring.  Though Harry had grown up less than three hours away from London he hadn’t really gone on his own before. It was a week later and we both had a couple things on our mental to do lists. I wanted to visit the tower of London and go to the Victoria Albert. Harry thought these were both rather dull but took me anyway saying he’d be happy to go where ever, as long as I was with him. Over lunch at a pub in Piccadilly we talked about what to do next.  Harry Suggested a record shop on Berwick St. So we hopped on the metro and made our way to Revival Records. Harry loved music. He was even in a band called White Eskimo. I got to hear them play only once at a rehearsal. Watching Harry sing was incredibly sexy. My mind wondered so easily when it came to Harry. I refocused on what we were doing at the moment and found Harry flipping through some old punk albums. He stopped and pulled one out and exclaimed,  “I can’t even believe they have this! It was a limited pressing from ’79!!”  We took the LP into one of the listen booths and Harry set the needle to his favorite track and as the music started he pulled me to him. He was in such a playful mood and kissed me quickly all over my face laughing the whole time. Our relationship had grown into something so natural and sweet. I rarely thought of our 6 year age difference anymore and no one looking at us would ever guess we were anything but perfect for each other. I looked young for my age and Harry certainly didn’t look 16.

            We spent the next 4 weeks sightseeing around Europe on the weekends, even making it to Italy for a lost weekend at the beginning of June. Though I had to work during the day, we spent most nights at my flat and by now knew each other’s bodies like they were our own. I could hardly stand being away from him while I was at work. But I knew the nights were ours. Some nights we would catch a bite out or we’d cook together at my place often falling effortlessly into bed after. He had an insatiable appetite for sex and some nights we’d make love 2 or 3 times. Harry was also very adventurous and willing to try just about anything that I’d let him.  Though I must admit I was a tad less adventurous. I liked to think of myself as sexy with a side of ladylike. Everything we did was new for us both.  After all I was a virgin before him and Harry had never had a serious girlfriend before so every place we traveled seemed more magical and every time we touched each other seemed better than the last. Even still it was the small little bits of our relationship that I liked best. Things like our Eskimo kisses, and being able to fall asleep in each other’s arms. However, occasionally Harry would slip home in the night so his family wouldn’t be suspicious of where he was spending all his time. I hated that he had to lie to them. I hated that I couldn’t be a part of his whole life. It was like we lived this secret and I know it caused him pain. It might be selfish to admit, but even more than I hated the lying, I hated those mornings, waking up without him. Little did I know that soon those would be the only kind of mornings I would have.