All The Lovely Little Vampires

All The Lovely Little Vampires chapter 21

                                           CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

          Alone. The single word echoed I my mind, both thrilled and scared me. Anything could happen right now. I refused to move from the spot I stood, where he set me down at. Edward leaned his back casually against the door and stared into my eyes deeply. What was he looking for? Seeing? I clicked my nails against my theigh skittishly and removed my gaze, peering down at the tile on the floor, counting individual pieces until I was dizzy. “Is that really how you feel?” He broke the silence at last, the sound seeming so loud that it hurt my ears, especially since everything is louder in the bathroom. The shield broken, I went to the sink and rinsed out my mouth with water, then Scope, then washed my face.

          I nodded without a word, embaressed. Then it came to me, anger and many other emotions I was in too much of a hurry to realize. “You know I love you.” I pointed out to him. He then nodded too, but softer and in doing so, regained my eyes. “But… I don’t know how to explain it… Something in me sort of, well, snapped back there.” Snapped? What is that supposed to mean? “Edward, I think its best if you unlock the door and let me out now.” I pushed, though in my mind I screamed ‘No! This is your big chance! Don’t waste it!’

          “No.” He said simply. I looked up at him in shock. No? “You don’t always get what you desire, Lia.” He added. Ouch. This coming from the one who made sure I always had what I wanted. Furry rose in my throat. Seems to be subconsciously my favorite emotion lately. “Man, you sound just like her.” Before he could say anything I went on. “I got the point of that when I admitted my feelings for you and got rejected.” I spat. More tears rose in my eyes, but these were of ander and pity and remorse. “Lia, I've always loved you!” He told me outright and without a hint of fakeness. I shook my head violently. “But as a sister. A best friend.” I mimicked what Bella told me the day I discovered her true colors. The words stung my tounge, but I continued. “Not like I always wanted you to.”

          Edward was in front of me in a split second, vampire speed time. It partially took away my breath, but I held my composure together surly. He was so close our chests nearly touched. I sucked in my breath and held it there, unable to breath with the distance closed between us. “Lia…” He reached up and cupped my face in his hands, moving my gaze to look at his. I felt his cool breath trickled over me, wrapping me in a cloak of simplicity and upmost delight. I extended my arms up and caressed the side of his perfectly chissled face, running the back of my hand across his cheek and up into his soft hair, lightly tousled and completely flawless, like every other part of him.

          He slipped one hand down my face to my neak, pausing at my jugular, and I shuddered, a part of me wanting to say ‘just take it. Bite me already, damn it.’ He trailed his fingers down to the center of my back, leaving it there, and pulled my in to hold me in his arms. Unlike all the other times hes held me, this time it was special. Beautiful and and romantic. Chills ran down my spine at his touch. “I hurt so much. I've never felt this kind of pain, even for my parents.” I whimpered. I felt so lost, so like the five year old girl in a purple sundress, hiding under her bed while her parents scream their last screams. I felt like a drugged up teen who took too many sleeping pills, and that fog just wouldn't clear my head, leaving me droopy and doped up.

          But I liked it. Oh, I liked it.

          There was an instant before our lips met when I had a flash of something, an epiphany of some sort, and it felt like I was on the brink of death, or perhaps even being born into another life. When I felt the cool, soft feel of his lips, I felt whole again. Like I was coming home after so many years, and a warm feeling of serinity and high filled my entire body so full I felt like I would burst with radiant joy. He moved his other hand into my curly hair, running his fingers through the soft ringlets on my head.

          He broke the kiss and for a moment a shock hit me, what if he was regretting ever taking me into his arms? The he leaned in and kissed me again, a newfound urgency now in his kiss. He deepened the kiss, more passionate now, and my lips parted with his and I exploared his mouth with all the wonder of a kid in a candy shop. Maybe he wasn’t as chaste as I thought he was, I said in my mind with almost a smile. My first kiss, surprisingly as I had always imagined it to be. Yippee. Our bodies were now so close, it was hard to tell where his skin ended and mine began, even through our thick clothing. His vampire strength was almost a crushing sensation, but I didn’t mind. And besides; I could tell how hard he was trying not to hurt me, to hold back.

         I lost track of time. How long have we been in here? I couldn’t even guess, I still had that doped up foggy feel to me, like my head was in the clouds. I felt Edward slightly pull away and I opened my eyes to look at him, his eyes glazed over with desire and need as I imagined mine were. “I love you, Lia. More than a sister, more than a best friend.” That sentence should have lovestruck me, sent me into a spellbound state, but instead  those few words made me anxious. He cant possably love me, really love me, can he? Not after knowing how I felt for him, then going off with Bella, and then choosing her over me. No small sentimental speech can change a persons heart.

          I pushed away from him, hitting the wall behind me. That was closer than I imagined it was, and I'm defiantly going to have a bruise, but that was the least of my issues at the time being. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly so I wouldn't have to see the pained, confused expression I knew was there. But even when I opened my eyes, his face was clam, understanding and caring. The same face I was so in love with, but I knew could never really love me the way I love him. “You cant. You think you do, but you don’t. You cant.” I still held his gaze, which was unfaltering compassion and understanding, but masked underneath was hurt beyond what I could read. “I'm sorry. I cant take this anymore.” I unlocked the door and sprinted out, through the hallway and into my room faster than I ever have. The wholeness I felt was gone, and not even half of me wa still there. I was empty, like I left the last half back in the bathroom with Edward.

          I went to my closet and began to gather clothes.