I sold my soul to Rock 'n' Roll

Chapter 24

I got out from my little mistake and I forgave the guys for what they had done that night. After all, I had been just as bad as they now. We all sort of agreed of never speaking again about what happened. 

I continued trying to figure out how to live my life without Jimmy. It was really tough though. And it didn't help that the crazy church-people followed me around everywhere to remind me how they thought about it all. They all blamed me for everything that happened and I had to admit, sometimes I did too. The guys constantly had to tell me that it wasn't my fault or I would just break down. I was tired of their bullshit now though. I couldn't let a group people affect me so much. I had to do something.

I called the guys in my band. I hadn't spoken to them for so long so it was great to hear Filip's voice when he answered the phone.

"Hi Charlie!" he said.

"Hey dude."

"How does it come that you call me this fine spring day?" 

"I thought about maybe doing some shows here in America, how do you guys feel about that?" 

"You actually think that we will get a gig in America? Aren't we or you really hated there?"

"Yes and that's why I think we should do this. To show them that we're not as bad as they think", I explained. 

"Well fix the gig and we'll be there in a heartbeat", he said.

"Great! I'll see you soon", I said and hung up.

I then called Peter to tell him about my plans and see if he could fix that gig for us. We agreed about that it probably was for the best if he booked us in a false name. That way would it be much easier for us. 

Just as I hung up the phone I realized something else I had to do. 

I drove to Zack's house and knocked the door. It took a while for him to open the door.

"Hi Charlie, what's up?"

"I just.. wanted to apologize", I said. 

"Come inside and we'll talk", he said with a small smile.

We sat down in the couch. 

"What is it you want to apologize about?" 

"I was really mean and unfair when I said that I hated you Zack. I don't. I really don't. You guys means everything to me and I really need you to know that. I guess I was just really really angry at the whole situation and with the drugs on that, everything just went out of hand you know. So I want to apologize for everything I said and how I acted, I shouldn't have done that", I said. 

"Really? That's what you want to apologize for?" he asked.

"Yeah? Should I apologize for something else?" I asked confused.

"No but that's not even worth apologizing for Charlie. Sure, when you said that it did hurt a little but I know that you didn't really mean it even though it kinda seemed like it at the moment. You've been through a lot the past time, we all have, and that has a way of fucking with all our emotions, I understand that."

"Thank you Zack", I smiled. 

"Enough with the serious shit now?" he smiled.

"Yep", I said and then started to tell him about my plans for a gig here. 

He thought that it would be fun if I did that but wasn't too sure that it would make the church-people stop. He thought that it maybe could have the complete opposite effect and make them protest more. But I didn't let that affect my decision. After all, I couldn't know until I had gone trough with the concert. And I was sort of excited to get back on stage. I knew that I would be difficult now that Jimmy wasn't here. Even though he didn't show up to all the concerts I did would it be a totally different thing when I knew that he wasn't anywhere else either. 

Peter actually managed on getting us a gig the week after. We had put up posters about it all over Huntington, to make sure that many people would show up. The guys came to America about three days before the show and we did some rehearsal since we hadn't played together for quite a while. 

I walked around in the park where the concert would take place about an hour later. It was getting filled with more people every minute. This concerts would be rather big. On the side of where the crowd stood was a group of protesters getting ready to show their hatred towards me. When you thought about it was it kinda amusing to see them, how they had kept on doing this for such a long time was actually kinda impressing. 

William called me to tell me that it was showtime. I went to the stage just in time as the guys was going on stage and started to play the music. I actually felt a little nervous. This was a completely new crowd and I had no idea what they would think about us. 

At first the crowd was kinda tough to break. They sort of just stood there and looked angry. But the more we played the more they seemed to actually like what they heard. Maybe this was working as I wanted it to. The protesters actually started yelling at us after a while too. 

We came to the last song. It was a song I had written about all the shit I got to hear every day here. And I finished the song with the line people blamed me the most for. I filled my lungs with as much air I could to really sing this line out strong so everyone would hear it clearly and sang.

"I sold my soul, to rock and roll!" and the music stopped. 

It was quiet for a few seconds but then a really loud sound of applauds and screaming started. A smile formed on my lips and I let out a little laugh. I did it. They liked me. And just when that happened the sun, that had been behind the stage all the time somehow started to shine right in my face. I knew what that was.

"Thanks Jimmy", I whispered and smiled big.

The End.