ScareFest

"It's Nothing"

 DAHVIE'S POV

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked Brin as we got out at the hotel. We were the last ones out and I was waiting for her. When she stood up I noticed a glimmer in her eyes that suggested she had been crying. In truth, I was really confused. The point of spending time with her was to help her get used to us and to make her happy. We weren't trying to upset her and honestly I couldn't remember doing anything that might upset her.

"Uhm, it's... uh. Nothing... It's nothing," she smiled. It was obviously a forced smile. Her lips twitched at the corners and her eyes were filled with unshed tears and pain. I immediately wrapped her in a hug and whispered in her ear, "Hey, you can tell me. I won't tell, I swear."

I must have took it to far. The second we made a physical contact, her entire body tensed. Every muscle turned to stone. I let go and backed off, apologizing for advancing too quickly.

The next thing I knew, she was sobbing in my arms, clutching herself to me like she would die if she let go. I knew the tears that were crashing to the cold October ground weren't happy tears. Happy tears aren't accompanied by sobs.

I helped her to my hotel room and we sat down on the bed. She cried in my lap for ten more minutes. When she did stop crying she sat up and turned to the floor. I knew she was waiting for me to drown her with questions as to why she was crying.

But I didn't. I waited for her to speak because I knew that no matter what I said to her, she wouldn't talk until she was ready. She scooted closer to me and held her arms out for a hug. I gave her one and she cried more. Not as much as the last time, but she still cried. I didn't speak or move. I just held her and let her cry. I knew from experience that was what she wanted and needed. No one needs or wants to hear people constantly asking what's wrong with them. I never did. I had cried off enough pain and regret to know.

About an hour later, I woke up to Brin's head on my chest and her body curled up next to mine. We didn't have sex or anything, we had just slept. I looked down at her felt a strong feeling of protectiveness wash over me. It felt like I was looking at my own little sister. In that moment I came to love Brin as my little sister and I decided that I would be the one make sure that nothing happened to her as long as I was around.

"Hey beautiful," I smiled as she slowly woke up. She mumbled "Good morning," before realizing it was only mid afternoon. She sat up and turned to face the floor. She was most likely embarrassed about crying on me. As if i cared. She needed it.

"Thanks for... everything... You're the first to actually just let me cry and not say anything. I needed that... a lot. Thank you, Vanity," she said quietly. She continued to stare at the floor. I smiled as I heard her thank me, and use my nickname. No one had ever thanked me for things like that, probably because it was just who I am.

"You're welcome. You can tell me why... if you want. I swear I won't tell anyone. I want you to know you can trust us, me and Jayy. We won't ever do anything to hurt you. I feel like I can trust you and so does he. We want you to feel that way about us," I explained to her. She sighed and looked at me.

"I know, I just... it's-it's Aiden. I-I'm in love with him and he thinks I love him as a brother and I-I don't. I just don't know how to tell him. A-and on top of th-that, I keep having these r-reoccurring nightmares where Aiden slits his wrists and k-kills hims-self. It's r-really sc-scaring me because he used to cut a-and I-I'm s-so afraid that h-he's g-gonna do it again b-because he's b-been really s-sad lately a-and w-what i-if my nightm-mare c-comes true? Then wh-what? I-I-I c-couldn't live w-with m-myself knowing I-I l-let h-him d-die," she stuttered with tears in her eyes. I couldn't believe I hadn't picked up on it. I used to have nightmares also. But yet when the evidence was shoved right in my face, I couldn't see it. She had dark circles under her eyes and her eyes were always bloodshot, most likely from sleep-deprivation, or insomnia.

I told her that would never happen and tried my best to explain that if he did commit suicide, it would not be her fault, even if she put the gun in his hand. He made the choice to leave, not her. I also told her that I believed with all my heart, Aiden was in love with her, too. I made sure she knew that she didn't have to shoulder all of this on her own in silence and darkness, that she could talk to me or Jayy. She confirmed that if she was having a breakdown, she would call us. That calmed my nerves slightly. After a small silence, she asked me, "Do you really think he's in love with me?"

I nodded and she smiled. I could tell the idea of Aiden reciprocating her love made her heart flutter. I could tell by the wide, glowing, cheek-stretching grin on her lips, the joyous hue around her face as the notion filtered through her mind and the far away, in a happy glaze appearance of her eyes. She truly loved this boy, there was no doubt and I couldn't wait to see the wedding.

Jayy Von walked in then and his jaw dropped. He probably thought he had caught us in the act or interrupted a serious conversation. Either way, he apologized and we both told him it was no big deal, we were just talking.

"Oh. Whatever. It's time for lunch, c'mon," he smiled. Jayy and I walked on either side of Brin to make her feel important and loved, both of which, she was.

Because of his fear of elevators, Jayy took the stairs while Brin and I the elevator. After he was out of hearing range, Brin turned to me, keeping her eyes anywhere but my own.

"You know, this has been so weird and disappointing and better-than-what-I-

expected all at the same time," she whispered.

"What is?" I asked carefully, not wanting to upset her. She smirked quietly and raised and lowered her eyebrows facetiously.

"Meeting you guys. It's weird because, well... yeah. It's disappointing because I imagined I would go on tour with you and become famous or something and it's better-than-what-I-expected because I never, in a million years, would have expected I would be so comfortable around Dahvie Vanity and Jayy Von Monroe, my biggest inspirations, the people who for so long cluelessly saved my life countless times a day just because the were alive.

"You don't understand just how crucial you are to my existence and me not ending everything a long time ago. Every word you spoke, every note you sang, was like a gospel to me, telling me I would be okay, that I could be strong enough to last through the storm. My entire life and reason to live was based on the chance of one day meeting you and being able to personally thank you for that. So thank you, so much, for keeping me going, and please, don't ever stop performing. You both are beautiful, no matter what happens or what people say or rumours flying around. You have been and always will be a large part of my life and 50% of my reason to live. Please don't ever forget that," she pleaded. As I took this in, she began to further explain herself.

"Most of my best friends don't see me cry, usually. Especially not like that and DEFINITELY not about Aiden. But you... I don't know... You're just different. I like how easily I can talk around you when it's just us. It's like I'm talking to the physical-but-guy version of myself and it's just so easy. It's nice," she smiled as we exited the elevator.

For the first time in my life, I felt like my job made a difference in the world and that I wasn't just singing on a stage or behind a mic. I finally felt that I was needed, important, even.

And I liked Brin. Not in the way that I would want to get in her pants but like a little sister that I have to protect from all the negative in the world. I liked Brin's personality. She was fun and easy going-- when she wasn't doing work. She had a work ethic like nothing I've ever seen before. Nothing could stop her from planning ScareFest; this was her project and she wasn't going to let anything stand in the way of it happening.

She had a sense of humor and she was sarcastic. She knew how to take a joke and she was the master at pranks. She had a voice like an angel and never bragged. She was as beautiful as rose, rips and flaws adding to the ever accumulating beauty of her soul. She was also beautiful on the outside, but never believed it. We were able to tell her everyday just how beautiful and important she was.

She was never rude and liked every one. If someone needed help, she helped, even if they didn't deserve it. She loved everything and there was always a kind word on her tongue.

But mostly I just liked her. I liked liking her and everything about her. It was so easy and fun to like her and always having another one of her strings to unravel. Liking her was, for me, at least, addictive.