ScareFest

"Just Breathe"

*SAME TIME AS LAST CHAPTER* BRIN'S POV

 I saw the worry in his face. I loved him so much, and now he knew everything about me. Well, save the cutting. I knew he would find out eventually, but, I didn't think it would be so soon. I guess the world really had moved on.

"May I see it? Your shoulder?" Aiden asked timidly. This was the hard part. Letting him realise how messed up I really was. What kind of girl plays leader, sister, mother and friend but the second she's alone she's a psychotic self-mutilating impudent child? I was such a faker and he was about to see that. I would probably lose him forever now, but I couldn't lie to him. It was impossible for me.

I took a deep breath and nodded my head. My breath came out shaky and uneven. Breathe, Brin. Just breathe. You'll be okay, just breathe, I told myself. I could do this; I could show him and own up to the shame I deserved.

He pulled the shoulder of my shirt down to expose a long line of cuts and old scars, some thicker than others. He must've been so disappointed. I couldn't blame him. He stared at them for a long while, thinking. It looked like he was unsure of what they were. I couldn't see how. They were cuts from self harm. Why wasn't he saying anything?

Then, just as I was about to ask him why he hadn't said anything, he did the most unexpected thing he could have done; he kissed them. He slowly moved his head closer and closer until his lips just barely brushed against my skin. The new, intimate contact sent ripples of excitement and adrenaline throughout my body. I shivered involuntarily and closed my eyes.

"I love you," he whispered quietly into the scars and new cuts, the most recent being from this morning. Then, every so lightly and gently, he laid his lips to them and kissed them. A tear and two rolled down my cheek from joy and relief that he had not turned me away as I had expected him to. Instead, I had received something I had wanted from day one; a chance with him.

I didn't know what to say. This incident was one I had never planned for, and never even expected to need to plan for it. And now I had no clue what to do or to say. I almost didn't want to say anything at all. The moment was perfect, and I feared ruining it by saying the wrong thing. I had never done anything like this before. I had never had a boyfriend or even a crush (besides various celebrities) until Aiden.

I knew I should say something to the effect of "I love you, too," but I couldn't find the words, or even the sound. I was stunned and had no idea how the whole thing had even happened. But I knew it was happening.

No matter how much I doubted it, it was happening. Not knowing what to do, I just cried. I cried for this chance, I cried for the chance to perform with my biggest inspirations and I cried for Aiden and his father and his mother. I cried for everything. Finally he knew me for the real me and not for the fake me that I pretended to be in public. Aiden finally knew the scared little girl behind the brave facade, and I was so glad he did. Finally, I stopped crying enough to form a coherent sentence.

"I love you, too. I loved you since day one. God, it's so nice to be able to tell you this. I'm sorry I never I told you about the cutting before, I just knew that I would have to explain to you everything I just did and I feared rejection more than my own death. I love you so much, Aiden James Glaskov. God, I love you. I promise that from now on I will tell you everything and never keep any secrets again," I choked out between sobs. I tried to smile but I was still crying too much.

Aiden comforted me and told me that it was okay, he understood. He held me for a few more minutes until I was completely done and was able to stand up. I pulled myself together and asked Aiden if he still needed me to pick out his outfit for tomorrow. He chuckled and nodded, and I followed him to his room and into his closet.

I started and I began to pick through his clothing until I found my favorite shirt of his; a black tee stating, "I don't do drugs; I am drugs" and white skinny jeans. I found his tie dye gray high tops Converse and his white snapback with a black Superman sign on the front. He had it custom made with his name on the back of it. I nodded my head slowly as I looked over my creation. I thought it looked decent, but he had had the pants forever and I wasn't sure if they even fit anymore. So I had him go in the bathroom and try them on. When he came back out, he looked fantastic. Like, attractive, fantastic. My pulse quickened as I saw him. Good God, he was beautiful. He turned around, as I often made him do, and I judged that the jeans fit very well. I was still appraising the lower portion of his outfit when he snapped me out of my appraisals.

"Well? Do you?" he chuckled at me. I shook my head and looked at up at him quickly. I couldn't believe the color of his eyes. They were so piercing in just one gesture. The severity of the sharp blues and hints of emerald green could persuade me into almost anything.

"The shirt. Do you want me to try it on as well as the rest of the outfit?" he chuckled easily. Already the atmosphere was lighter between us. I could tell how much the issue of not telling each other had ruined not only our friendship, but any other type of relationship we had. Now that there were no secrets around each other, it was truly the happiest place I could be.

I laughed at myself for zoning out about the jeans (that he had to be suffocating in) and nodded my head. He knew me so well. He pulled his shirt over his head, not bothering to go into the bathroom. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. Ignore. Ignore it. Ignore the boy. I will ignore him, thought to myself. Aiden laughed at me for this and I tried to smack him while keeping my eyes closed. I hit him, not realising he hadn't put the shirt on yet. My stomach tightened and I pulled my hand back. I kept my eyes closed pretending that I had smacked his face. Apparently, trying to contain yourself is funny. Aiden chuckled while trying not to chuckle and told me he was done, I could open my eyes.

I side peeked for dramatics and saw that he was fully clothed and putting on his shoes and various bracelets that he always wore. When I sat down next to him on the bed he hugged me. I hugged him back, slightly confused but happy for the embrace. I needed a hug, but I didn't know it until I got one. A tear rolled down my cheek and I sat up to wipe it away, but Aiden stopped me. He put one hand on each side of my face and wiped it away with his thumb.

"It's okay, Brin. You don't have to cry anymore. Not now, not ever. I love you and I will always be a phone call or text away, although most nights I'm here anyways," he promised. He had made his voice light and airy and even made a joke, but I heard and could see in his eyes the legitimacy behind the promise.

We walked out like normal, his arm around my waist, and I showed off my masterpiece like it was a fashion show. We decided to order movies and pizza and chill for the rest of the night. Aiden went back and changed into some basketball shorts and a loose fitting tee. We were all at Aiden's and I was the only one that didn't have any pajamas. Dahvie let me borrow some shorts, Jayy lent me a shirt and Aiden gave me a hoodie. I curled up between all three of them and we ate pizza and watched movies until ten p.m. I had the best night's sleep ever. When I woke up, still encompassed by the three of them, I started to cry. How could my life be so perfect? I looked at the clock and it was already nine in the morning. Crap. We overslept. I crawled out of bed and screamed at the top of my lungs. The boys woke up alert and afraid.

"Well, now that you're all up," I sighed. They looked so incensed. They asked me what was wrong and I told them that we had overslept. Aiden asked what time it was and I told him nine in the morning. He turned white, mumbled we were late and stood up. He ran to his room and threw on his outfit I picked out last night.

I asked him if we could drive to my house so I could get dressed. Jayy and Daddy Vanity let me ride in the limo while Aiden followed us. I quickly dressed and hugged and kissed the other boys on their cheeks before leaving. I climbed into Aiden's truck and we drove off.