Pocket Full of Posies

Chapter Twenty-Five

  I had two and half weeks left; three if I wanted to push it. Sure, I could catch a red-eye and be at school the next morning, but I liked to get settled in. That is, settled into the school I already hated. It wasn't actually a bad school, to be honest. A lot of people fought to even make it in. I wish I had made it on my talents alone, but truth be told strings were pulled because my family was "famous". I'd wasted three years of my life there already. If my parents had had their way, I'd be at year four, but I'd taken a year off. I was passed the J.D degree and was now onto the LL.M. My parents spared no expense. They were paying for every degree possible.

I'd learned a long time ago it was pointless to complain out loud. They were giving me everything. I should be grateful. I was. But I was also resentful. It was my own fault for not standing against them when I'd had the chance. The year off with no school at all had been the most rebellious I had ever been. People didn't really know my parents. They knew they were rich lawyers with picky habits when it came to living. They knew they had two sons, although some people got confused and thought I was the only one. But that was as far as my parents let anyone get; including me and Leland.

There was no point in going up against them. They had the same argument every time just with different variants. If I went out on my own and got a job, paid for my own college education and did what I wanted, they'd never speak to me again. Lord knew why sometimes, but I actually loved my parents and wanted to be on speaking terms. I was uncomfortable with conflict. If I at all decided to go against someone, I usually backed down fairly quickly if it wasn't serious.

Besides, my parents were different than going against just anybody. There were different consequences involved. No one knew the stakes.

Leland never gave a shit. He did as he was told, but he told himself it was what he wanted. Maybe he did. He sure as hell was better at it than I'd ever be. I could pass tests and engage in classes, but my heart wasn't in it. Leland thrived in conflict. Hell, he started it half the time. He loved arguments and loved research, loved tearing people down and, most of all, he loved winning.

He got a job at my parent's firm straight out of college. He'd been at the game for almost two years now. His bedside manners could use some work, but for the most part he had a lot of clients already. Honestly, Leland was more a Harvey Specter than anyone. He was a cut-throat ass to men and charming with women. People either hated him or loved him. There was no in between.

Most of the time I hated him.

We weren't like most brothers. He was almost six years older than me. Even when we were kids and age supposedly didn't matter we steered clear of eachother. Sure, there were the special sometimes when our paths crossed and we called a truce. Those times were few and far between, though. And when we got older we basically pretended the other didn't exist. The second he was eighteen, he was out of the house. The only time he was back was for the holidays and even then I'm pretty sure Mom had to blackmail him to get him to come and stay for so long. God only knew why she wanted him around. It wasn't like he went caroling or baking cookies or even Christmas shopping. He was out all day and came back with a different girl almost every night.

Alice thought I was jealous of him. I wasn't. Leland thrived in his life, he loved it. He loved being a lawyer. He'd never had to think for one second about going up against our parents for what he actually wanted. Everything was his own idea. How could I be jealous of a guy who got what he wanted? He wasn't me and I wasn't him. No point in brooding about it.

"Ah, but the girls," Alice would chide me.

I wasn't jealous about that, either. It just wasn't in me to sleep with a pack of girls per week. I couldn't do what he did; charm them all night and leave them high and dry the next day. If that made me a pussy, fine. I liked to think it made me a decent human being but whatever. Everyone is different.