Pocket Full of Posies

Chapter Thirty

"You just gotta chill, girl. Be in the now! With me! Obvs not trying to harsh your mellow or anything, but you're totally bumming me out with this pining."

I glanced over at Alice, brows raised. Honestly what the hell was this girl even speaking?

She was quite the bubbling ballerina today. No, seriously, she was wearing a deep blue tutu and a ratty black band T-shirt with knee length high tops. I had to hand it to her, though; she didn't care about her wardrobe risks. She dressed as she pleased. It was something I most admired about her. The most adventurous I ever got was a Flash T-shirt in the middle of December....and look where that landed me.

It was different, though. She had insisted that just because Landon was gone that didn't mean we couldn't hang out and have our own "girl time". So here I was in her bedroom—which was pretty much as bright and busy as I'd expected—missing a boy who was only my friend.

"God, I just don't understand why you didn't go to the airport with us," Alice said for the billionth time.

I hadn't wanted to intrude. Well, that was part of it. The other part was I had selfishly wanted to go with just him and not the whole gang. So I'd chosen to let them have their time. I wasn't out to steal Landon from them. I was the newbie. Whatever was happening between me and him, I wasn't about to let it ruin their beautifully odd dynamic.

"I know, I know," she interrupted me as I went to explain, for the billionth time, why I didn't go. "It's just weird. I thought y'all were gonna like....make out or something. Y'all....haven't made out...right?"

"Alice, I am going to spill your nail polish all over you," I teased in a mock threatening tone.

She jerked her purple bottle away to safety. "How dare you insult me in my own home like that!"

I snickered, returning back to my own bottle—black. I liked darker tones for winter. When I'd reached for the warm brown polish at Walgreens, Alice had gone off on a tangent of how she wouldn't associate with anyone who voluntarily picked such drab colors. I didn't really understand how black won the test, but at least I wasn't stuck with yellow or something.

"For real, though, are you gonna be this moody til March?" Her tone was serious this time. She was prying for information.

I sighed. "No, I won't be. I'm not gonna be sad over men anymore."

"Oh don't give me that crap," she scolded. "You can't push your Isaac issues—I say Isaac and not men issues because it's singularly caused by him—on Landon. He's a good guy. I just don't understand why you won't give him a chance honestly. It's clear y'all like eachother. Evan noticed it, too, and he doesn't notice anything." She made a face mixed with hurt and anger. "Clearly."

"We're not together because I'm not over my...Isaac issues. I don't want to hurt him for some crap another guy caused. I have to do me first, ya know?"

"Yeah, I do. Just don't go back to thinking you're this angry person, okay? Cause that's not you."

I smiled to myself. I used to consider myself a pretty lucky girl. Then all the drama with Isaac and Joanna happened. I thought all my "luck" was used up and a lie. But now here I was in my new friend's room talking about a boy I was crushing on. Life was finally starting to make sense again.

Except for Marlena.....

After Landon and I had talked, I went home and faced my aunt and uncle. Aunt Nelly was already a sobbing mess before I got there but the second my feet crossed over the door, she'd rushed at me and embraced me in the tightest hug I'd ever had. Everything had happened so fast, I hadn't considered how this might be affecting them. They'd raised me, after all. I mean I wasn't exactly a kid anymore, but it was still a shock to them.