Domino Effect (Yukio)

3. Never Born

Once I had decided it was safe to open my eyes to look around, to take in all of my surroundings, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

With the powers claimed to be "Borrowed" from some demon she knew, Yuri had brought us both to stand in in the middle of a currently empty graveyard.

It was a totally different area from where we had started at, from a bright and open field and morning sun shining upon the land to a significantly darker place with the stars of the night sky scattered across the darkened sky. It was noticeably colder when compared to the intense heat I was under when I first woke up. A full moon had risen up already high in the sky, dimly lighting the surrounding graves.

"Hey, why did you bring me here? Of all places?" I asked, wanting to know what I was doing here in this cemetery.

She looked around for a moment before moving to face me and look up at me. Wearing a more serious expression, I waited to hear what her answer could be.

"Yukio. You had first thought about how, in the part of the world that you occupy, how everything could be some 'better' kind of place if you were never born. You'll understand what I mean sooner or later when I say how that kind of idea isn't true at all." She replied.

"But what are you trying to say by bringing me here to this kind of place? A cemetery is a place to bury those loved ones who have passed on. For people who have lived and died. If I was never born, then how can I end up beside you in this kind of place now? Someone who never existed can't be buried. You're not making any sense Mrs. Egin." I said.

Moving a loose stand of her wavy brown hair out of her face, she paused for a moment as if she was thinking of how to carefully word her answer, repeating what she's been trying to tell me.

"You'll just have to wait and see. I shouldn't influence your thoughts about everything that you're about to learn. I told you about the deal I made beforehand, remember? This is just how it has to be." She put her hand on her chin and closed her eyes for before continuing. "Uh, think of this as a sort of 'show and not tell' kind of thing?" She suggested, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

With a short sigh, I covered my face with one of my hands.

'Asking isn't going to get me anywhere with her. It seems like I have no choice, and I can't go back on my own without her. Right now I can't do anything, she has full control of everything, and all I could do was do as she says. All these years of building up patience with dealing with my brother's antics are really going to be put to the test. I can't expect to get much out of her, it's almost as if I had just just asked my brother if he's started on the homework that I assigned the class and he's beating around the bush to not give me a straight answer, I've dealt with this kind of person before so I should be able to handle her.'

"Okay, fine. But you'll have to promise me that I'll make it back to the academy... And all in one piece because I still don't fully understand how those borrowed demonic powers of yours work. I need to know that you can handle using such a power and that it won't end up causing something to go wrong."

"I promise!" She said with a smile and a thumbs up at me. "You'll get back home safe and sound, you can trust me! But call me 'Yuri" instead, okay?" She asked with a grin.

Crossing both my hands across my chest, I thought to myself for a short moment.

'I had a feeling that she was being genuine, and she hasn't given me a reason to doubt her so far. In a way, comparing her to Rin made sense, she seemed like him but that could only be because I've done nothing but worry about him in these past few weeks.'

"Well?" She asked, waiting to see what I would say.

Looking back at Yuri who was waiting patiently to see what I would say, I noticed while I spent more time with her that it was like she acted younger than she was it seemed so I decided to use that a little.

"You win. I don't have much of a choice, to have any say in the matter at all I guess. I'll play by your rules..." I answered.

"That's good to hear! I mean I know what the situation must seem like but it'll all make sense later on. I know I can't answer all of your questions but if I'm careful enough with my words and not give away too much ahead of time then everything will turn out okay." Yuri explained.

"Even though I say that..." I started off with, stopping there to create suspense.

"Yes?" She asked, not expecting me to add in something else.

"...But I think that I'll stick to calling you 'Mrs. Egin'." I finished off saying.

"Wha- hey! I said for you to call me 'Yuri' instead! You make me sound like some kind of old lady when you say it like that! 'Yu-ri'! It's "Yuri" I told you!" She said, not hiding the fact that she sounded a little annoyed.

I raised an eyebrow, not expecting for her to have reacted this much almost finding it amusing. I removed my glasses and wiped it's foggy surface, the temperature of this place was making it hard to see with them.

"You may be able to control these 'visons' and such right now, but you can't control my tongue. So with that, it'll be 'Mrs. Egin' from now on whether you like it or not. I mean it only seems fair because I'm here whether I like it or not, right?" I offered as a trade off, placing my glasses back on my face.

She rolled her eyes and then shook her head, looking back at me with a small smile.

"Fair enough. You got me." She said, putting up both her hands in defeat. "You make a good point there, I can't deny you've made a good argument. But I didn't bring you here just so you can make fun of me now did I?" She said changing the tone of her voice in a more serious one and letting her two hands drop to her side.

In the way that she asked me that all of a sudden, it made me remember the situation and why we were here. Yuri nodded at me once and turned around to the other direction, motioning for me to follow her.

"Where are we heading now? Can't you at least give me a hint or something?... Mrs. Egin! Hey wait up!" I said but she was purposely ignoring me as she walked past me.

'I definitely have no choice in the matter.' I thought to myself with a sigh as she walked in the distance and I picked up my pace to catch up to her. 'I'm not used to dealing with such a person like her. With Rin, he's constantly loud and a complete contrast to my character but Yuri with her personality is all over the place that I can't seem to keep up.'

Silently I followed closely behind Yuri without saying much else to each other.

'I don't that much about her but it's clear that she knows a lot more than she's letting on.'

~

With the darkness of the place, it was hard to a little hard to see where we were going. We were walking in what seemed like a minute or so. Suddenly she stopped walking and I took a step back to not walk into her.

Without being able to see where I was walking, my foot fell into a hole in the dirt making me stumble and accidentally push over Yuri and landed next to her.

Having fallen on her back, Yuri was also caught by surprise too.

"Ow! Can't you watch where you're walking?... Are you okay?" She asked while rubbing her back and wiping dirt off of herself.

Sitting up, I saw her blurry hand out stretched towards me. Reaching up for it, she handed me my glasses back from when they fell on the ground.

"Well, I'm sorry. The humidity of this place has been fogging up my glasses and adding in with how dark this place is, I can't really see where I was going. It was you who stopped walking so suddenly, I couldn't help it. Don't you have some sort of light source with you? Like a small flashlight? Possibly a lighter or something that we can use while we're here?" I asked her. Having wiped the specks of dirt that covered the lens on the corner of my yellow sweater again, it was lucky to not have been cracked from the fall. Since I didn't have any available spares on me as I usually do, I had to keep these pair safe from damage.

After I stood up, I put my glasses back on and helped Yuri stand back up.

"A flashlight?..." She said, thinking to herself.

Her expression suddenly became brighter like a light bulb had went off in her head after she finished wiping off all of the dirt from her clothes.

"Now that you mention it... Ah, yes! I DID pack in a flashlight here with me!" Yuri said, digging thru the little side bag that she wore. "Now where did I put that thing? I was sure that I had it in here somewhere..." She mumbled to herself as she rummaged around for it.

"Do you need a flashlight to look for your flashlight in there?" I asked sarcastically.

Rolling her eyes and ignoring me, still looking for it, she finally pulled out a small flashlight with a key chain attached to it.

"Glad I found it! Here you go." She said, handing it over to me.

Flipping on the switch I found on it's side, I was temporarily blinded from holding the flashlight the wrong way, making it shine on my face.

Turning it off while I was rubbing my eyes with my other hand, I heard Yuri's muffled laughter as she tried to hold it in.

"That's what you get, for calling me old." She said with a shrug.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Oh, it's nothing!" She said, waving it off.

"I didn't call you anything even close to being 'old'. I just used your family name. You're gonna have to get used to it ma'am. Besides, you can't be more than in your late twenties at most. That's not old at all." I said as my eyes slowly adjusted to the night again.

Turning on the flashlight and looking back at her, now being able to see her clearly from the glow of the light I had pointed downwards, there was a light shade of blush forming on her cheeks.

"Uh, thank you. That's embarrassing to hear but kind of you to say but, really, I'm just a little bit older than that... A- Anyways, the flashlight is fully working, right?" Yuri stammered, hesitant to be talking about her age.

"Oh, I'm not gonna ask how old you are it's fine, it'd be rude of me if I did. But yeah, it seems to be working well, it's a powerful light I already confirmed it earlier... I need to get myself one of these." I mumbled the last part to myself, taking a mental note of it.

Not saying anything right away, Yuri seemed like she was lost in her thoughts and was smiling to herself.

"So, Mrs. Egin, why did you stop here all of a sudden? Is it because you found something?" I asked her, taking out of her trance.

All of a sudden she came back to reality from spacing out and looked up to me. "Y- You're right." Yuri said, clearing her throat.

Her expression on her face changed to look very grim when her eyes glanced towards the nearest tombstone from us. She then closed her eyes after turning away from it.

"Yukio... I'm sorry about what you're about to see..." She said in a quiet voice.

Not understanding what caused her to change her entire mood like that so drastically, I could only follow her eyes and look over to the same tombstone which caught her interest as well that which in turn had made me tense up slightly.

"Ah, sure?" I answered. unsure of what she meant.

Bending down in front of it, I held the flashlight on it's dirty surface. Trying to read the carvings on it, I couldn't make out the name on it and extended my other hand to wipe off some of the dirt and grime off of it. It looks like it's been here for a while, taking several more wipes until the name was more clear to read it properly.

"Mrs. Egin, the name... It says... Sh... Shie- NO!" I yelled in surprise when I was able read out the worn out name on the aged stone.

Stumbling backwards from the shock, I dropped the flashlight from my grip when I landed on the ground. Somehow, the light had landed to shine fully one that name. I couldn't move on my shock, my heart was pounding and my hands were shaking. I was only able to stare at what was before me, not believing what my eyes were seeing although there was no mistaking it.

From the horror of what I just realized, my breathing quickened and I couldn't calm down. It was the name of someone that I knew well.

'This has to be a lie. It has to be some kind of sick joke. No way...'

"Yukio?" Yuri asked me.

"Th- This can't be... What are you playing at?! You're just messing around!... Tell me... Tell me why her name is on THERE?!" I yelled, more out of fear than from anger.

Not answering right away, Yuri took a step towards me and got down on her knees to face me at eye level, holding her hand out to me but I didn't take it. I couldn't react at all.

"There's just no way that any of this could even be real. It's all supposed to be like a dream, a vision... Right? A dream... A dream... Dream..." I said to myself while covering my head with both of my hands.

When I didn't respond to her or take her hand to help me stand back up, Yuri stood back up after releasing a short sigh. The only thing that I could do was still stare back at the name on the tombstone in silence and nothing else. My entire mind had gone blank.

'This can't be true... But it all seems too real...'

"You know her, there's no mistake about it." Yuri said, saying her thoughts out loud."..." I couldn't say a thing, my throat was suddenly dry.

Moving to walk back towards the grave, she had wiped the rest of the dirt that covered the rest of the words that were carved on the rock. When she had finished clearing it, she started to ask me a few questions before standing up from her spot.

"When did you first meet her? From that moment on, you should've noticed just how special she is to you. Am I right?" Yuri asked me without turning around.

"For years... For years I've known her... But... Ju- Just what is this? Her grave?" I was finally able to force myself to ask.

"Like you already know, since you were first introduced to her at that time, you were able to help her with her delicate health as a doctor. She was always a sickly child. She didn't go to public school or any other places that included crowds of people actually..." Yuri started to say.

Removing her hand from the stone's surface where she held it, she stood up and took a few steps back to let me see what she had just wiped clean. My eyes widened in shock from reading the date that was written under the name.

"This isn't a dream anymore. The power of the demon I'm currently borrowing powers from has the abilities to show realities, that's all that I can tell you. You see, here in the world you thought best would be better off where you were never born... It means that you weren't there for her to help with her failing health. Since it was never addressed, as you took notice of with the date you read from here..." Yuri paused for a moment before continuing on. "Your friend, who goes by the name of Ms. Shiemi Moriyama, she died a mere few months from the day after first meeting her. Your medicine from what you studied as a Doctor, all the herbs that you taught her how to use more efficiently, it's what extended her life and essentially cured her. After meeting you, her health improved significantly enough to be able to attend school like the other students. This young lady buried six feet under us, she only had her mother, but other than that had lived and died alone without being introduced in the world you showed her of exorcists."

Taking in all of her words and letting them all sink in where I sat on the ground, Yuri picked up the flashlight that was still shining on the stone and held it in her hand pointing away from it. I took a deep breath and forced myself to stand up silently. All of my thoughts were so jumbled up from everything that I couldn't think straight. Everything that I heard, it was just so much to take in all at once.

My legs wobbled when I fully stood up and I almost fell over because my knees were still feeling weak. Before I leaned over, Yuri reached out to grab my arm to help me stand. Moving my right arm over her shoulder she supported me and helped me move to lean against a nearby tree a few steps away from where we were.

Pulling out a pure white handkerchief from her side bag, she wiped my face as I stayed silent.

"Are you okay? You're still looking a bit pale... Yukio?" Yuri asked me, holding up my left hand and placing the handkerchief in my palm.

"What does it look like?" I could only ask in a low voice.

"Well, if you ask me, you look like absolute crap." She answered with a small shrug, honestly and without holding back.

"...How?..." I started to ask.

"What?" Yuri questioned me, not understanding what it was that I wanted to know.

"Mrs. Egin, how could you have known all of that? Just who are you exactly?" I finished, looking at the soft white cloth in my hand and tightening my grip on it out of growing frustration.

Taking too long to say anything, I let my hand drop down to my side and moved away from the tree I was leaning on, standing fully upright. I looked at her while she was trying to put her words together, but I was feeling much too impatient.

"You're saying all of these things but... It's not possible you knew any of that..." I said.

"Well if this is your reaction to the first person, I wonder if you can really handle the rest of what you're about to see..." Yuri said, purposely avoiding my questions.

I felt my anger start to rise, with the recent shock of being shown Shiemi's grave before me, there was no way that I could find it in myself to deal with this kind of feigned ignorance at the moment.

"You can't be serious right now, you HEARD what I just asked you. Tell me who you are! There's NO possible way you could've known any of that earlier. I've been having this feeling since we met that you know a LOT more about me and my brother than what you've been letting on!" I said, raising my voice.

Yuri took a step back from me in surprise and broke eye contact with me to face the ground.

"Stop messing around with me! I just saw SHIEMI'S grave back there! I'm not in the mood right now!" I continued out of pure frustration.

She still wasn't going to reveal to me everything she knew, shaking her head instead.

"Why won't you answer me?! What could possibly be SO bad that you can't say it to me Yuri! Who exactly are you?! What can the reason POSSIBLY B-"

"Don't worry so much about who I am!" She yelled back to interrupt me, surprising me. "Yukio... You're ALIVE right now. I only wish with EVERYTHING that I am, to be able to stop you, to be able to change your mind by showing you that you can't go through with your bad thoughts! Those negative ideas you're clinging on to, they can't become a reality no matter what!"

It caught me off guard in how desperate the tone of her voice had sounded just now. It only confused me even further, I didn't understand why it was that she was trying so hard to 'help' save me.

"I just can't figure it out... WHAT is it that you want with me?! What do you get from all of this? Why me?! WHY-" She interrupted me.

"I've been out of everything around here for however many years it's been since that day... Luckily you have the chance to go on! Who I am isn't important! It's not! I don't matter! I've been DEAD and-" Yuri stopped herself and froze, her hands covering her mouth in shock.

I took a step back in shock from what she had blurted out, things made less sense more than ever. All of my anger and frustration began to diminish when I saw the expression on her face. We stood in silence. Neither of us had moved or looked at each other.

Suddenly I had realized how I let the confusion and stress of the whole situation overcome me again like what happened to me in my dorm room earlier. I couldn't allow myself to become such an angry person like I've been.

What I need to do, better sooner than later, is to stop from reacting so much from my emotions and come back when I take a minute or two in order to properly communicate with the people around me.

Shaking my head from my previous behavior, I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Yuri still didn't look up from the ground so I took a few steps towards her.

"Mrs. Egin?" I began.

She didn't say anything but slowly moved to look up and make eye contact with me. Without either of us saying another word, I ended up doing something that even surprised myself.

Hugging Yuri, I apologized.

"Sorry for being so tough on you, Mrs. Egin, for the whole time I've been here. Guess I don't realize just how difficult it can be to deal with someone as stubborn as I can be, and here I am always finding myself complaining about how hard headed my brother is." I told her.

Feeling her hands reach up to my back, Yuri hugged me back and nodded.

"I'm sorry too, Yukio. I've been told before of how I can be a bit rebellious myself, and just that can be tough to deal with in itself." She said in apology too.

When we let go a moment later, she looked back up at me.

"I can't ask you to forget what I accidentally blurted out just a little while ago... I'm just too honest to take that back now and I-" Yuri began to explain but I shook my head to stop her there before she went any further.

"Yeah it didn't make any sense to me but.. I won't ask any more about it. Everyone has something they can't really talk about, I know that all to well. I just hope that I didn't make you relive any sad thoughts from the way that you said it Mrs. Egin." I said.

Back to wearing a small smile, she shook her head slightly.

"No, don't you worry about it. But can you do me just one thing though?..." Yuri began after taking a step back from me.

Shrugging my shoulders as an okay for her to say what was on her mind, she continued on.

"So, I noticed how you finally called my name earlier! Why'd you go back to calling me by my family name again after?" She said with a pout.

Thinking back at my own words from a little while ago, I realized that she was right. It made me laugh to myself a little.

"What's so funny all of a sudden?" Yuri asked.

"Oops, guess I let it slip having been caught up in the moment like I did. Thanks for telling me so I won't let that happen again... Mrs. Egin." I told her while scratching the back of my head and chuckling.

When she heard me say her family name again she rolled her eyes with a short sigh.

"How about just changing it to 'Ms. Egin' then? I'm not exactly married to be called something like that you know." Yuri suggested.

"Huh... Is that so?... Well okay then. It'll be 'Ms. Egin' from now on." I accepted.

Picking up the handkerchief that fell from my hand in my earlier outburst. After folding it up neatly, I tried to hand it back to her.

"Oh, you can keep that. It's okay." Yuri said while gently pushing my hand back.

"Really? I mean, isn't it yours?" I asked.

Stopping for a second before answering, Yuri nodded.

"Sorry I have to put it in this way but with the rest of what I have to show you, then you will probably need it more than me." She said.

Tensing up at her words, I placed it in the back pocket of my pants. Without even thinking about it, I turned my head back to look over to what was Shiemi's grave. Forcing myself to look away and noticing that Yuri saw that, the next thing she told me was something I didn't expect her to suggest. Then again, how could I not be surprised by her.

"You really like her, don't you Yukio?" She asked in a very interested tone.

I jumped back being asked something like that out of the blue.

"That I what? Me? No way. It's not like that!" I answered while waving my hands in front of me and shaking my head, denying this claim.

"C'mon, you're a bad liar, especially with how flustered you look, Who's going to find out if you tell me? Nobody. You know that I haven't lied to you once Yukio, don't try to lie to me... So?"

Turning away to not have to look at Yuri, she had just asked me to admit something to myself for the first time that I've been keeping buried deep within me. This was something that I didn't even want to acknowledge but what could I do?

"Maybe I do..." I started off quietly, more like grumbling to myself.

"What was that just now? You can tell me! It's okay." Yuri's voice encouraged me from behind me where she stood.

"Okay! Fine! Yes! Yes... Over time I've grown some... Certain kinds of... Feelings for Shiemi." I finally admitted for the first time.

"That's good!" She exclaimed. "You're finally being more honest to yoursel-"

"But..." I continued on, interrupting Yuri which made her face drop and when she heard that. "It doesn't matter. Even I could see how well she gets along with Rin. The two biggest people of my life are getting along so well with each other. I'm really happy for the both of them, I really am. Honestly. Even though I do feel that way, then why? Why can't I stop these feelings I get... Of jealousy?" I finished asking not really to her but questioning myself.

Yuri didn't answer but instead took a few steps closer to me and I felt her hand pat the top of my head. She had reached up by standing on the tips of her toes in her attempt to comfort me with what I had just revealed. Her warm hand landed on my shoulder and she gave me an encouraging smile to cheer me up.

"How is it that you're able to make me talk about myself so much Ms. Egin? Usually I can just tell the others around me that I'm fine. That's how it's always been and I get away with it all the time when I put on that front. But you're right on point..." I admitted, putting my own hand over hers, appreciating her for it.

"I suppose... Well, think of it this way, dreams are were people are most vulnerable because they are in their own minds when compared to being able to control your own thoughts and feelings better when you're awake. This started when you were in a dream, that must be it... But this isn't a dream anymore like I said before, we're looking at realities than can come true with the powers of the demon I'm using." Yuri explained, taking a step back from me and removing her hand from my shoulder.

"Ms. Egin?..."

"Yes? What's up?" She asked curious to what I might ask next.

"It's just... Thank you." I said, changing what I was going to say in the last second.

"Anytime!" She said with a smile and a quick nod, not pressing any further to ask what it was.

Taking a moment before going on with what I wanted to say, I made direct eye contact with her before continuing.

"I think that I'm ready. Yes... I'm prepared to go on and see what else you have to show me. If we stand around in one place like this for too long, then we won't get anywhere. If someone realizes that I'm missing from my dorm room, they'll come for you, won't they?" I asked.

When she shook her head, I thought she meant to tell me that she was thinking that I wasn't ready to see what lies ahead but then she explained herself.

"It doesn't matter how much time we take actually. You see, it's more like a second that passes over there is different to the time you're here with me in this place. There's no difference in whether or not we rush." Yuri revealed.

My eyes widened in surprise from hearing that.

"J- Just how powerful can this demon even BE to hold such high levels of power like that?!... I mean, sorry, I shouldn't question it any more." I stopped myself when I realized that I had just asked.

"It's okay. Now just as you said, I do believe it's time now. What you are about to see next, please understand that it may shock you even more than earlier. But, it has to be done, you have to open your eyes no matter how brutal it might be because it's necessary." Yuri said in a serious tone.

"...I understand." I answered clearly, without hesitation, taking this challenge.

"You've changed and affected the lives of so many people in your life and you'll be able to see just how much my words speak the truth. Even if you don't see it yourself, you'll come to understand it in a more significant way. Now, let's go. Are you sure you're ready to continue on?" She asked me to make sure she heard it from me I was prepared, holding out her hand to use the demonic powers she's borrowing and leave this area.

'I won't back down from this. I need to see it all with my own eyes.'

"There's no going back. Yes. I feel like I'm ready. I am as ready as I'll ever be." I said as I looked over to Shiemi's grave for the last time in this world.

Taking Yuri's hand, I took in a deep breath and cleared my head. This wasn't going to be easy one bit but I wanted to know more, I wanted to understand more about me, and I wanted to move on from feeling stuck like I have since that night in the forest. This is exactly what I needed to experience.

Rewritten 3/22/2021