Complicated Fairytale

Chapter 20

He almost died,  repeated over and over again in my head.  Kade sat there looking at me,  waiting for me to say something.  But I didn't know what to say.  How do you react to someone you love telling you they almost killed someone?  I just sat there for a moment staring back at him, as his words replayed he almost died.  I took a deep breath. 

"What do you mean almost died what happened?"  I finally asked. 

Kade was looking anywhere but me when he finally answered me.  "I beat him until he was out cold much like Grant but this was worse.  He was bleeding out of his nose and his mouth.  He was out for so long he slipped into a coma.  He was in a coma for a month before he came out of it Addi.  I put a guy in a coma for hitting on my sister."  He ran his hands thru his hair and began to sob.  He got up and began pacing the floor as tears ran down his face. 

"I'm a monster Addi.  I don't deserve to be happy.  What if someone hurt you huh?  What would happen?  Would I kill them? I can't stop Addi.  Once I start I don't know how to stop."  He was walking faster now pacing the floor. 

I didn't know what to do.  I was still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that he put a guy in a coma for nothing.  I watched him pace and rant in shock.  Truth be told I was a little scared,  although I didn't think he would hurt me what if he hurts someone else.  Grant deserved a little roughing up but not to be knocked out cold.  Just the thought of what Kade might do if someone actually hurt me terrified me. 

He stopped and looked at me.  "Addison please say something."  His eyes pleaded with me.

  What do I say?  Does this change how I look at him?  I knew he had a temper hell I'd seen him in action and both times all I wanted to do was help him.  I was never scared of him not at all until now.  I wasn't scared for myself.  I was scared for him.  This was tearing him apart.  He hated himself for his actions and I didn't know how to help him.  How could I fix this? 

"Kade come sit down."  He was shaking as he walked toward me and sat on the edge of the bed.  "Is there anything else you need to tell me?"

"This story is what Jules was trying to blackmail me with.  She threatened to tell everyone what I did and about my fits.  Especially after I trashed our apartment during our break up."  He sat staring at the floor.  "If you want to run I won't stop you Addi.  I understand if you don't want me now." 

Did I still want him?  The thought ran through my mind.  Is this the kind of man I wanted to spend my life with?  Someone who can't control his anger?  But that wasn't all he was.  His temper didn't define him.  He was smart,  so smart one of the smartest businessmen I knew.  He was caring and loving.  He would do anything for me and he truly cared about my happiness.  Was I willing to throw all of that away because of his past?  Just because he had done those things didn't mean he would again.  I calmed him down I could help him control himself. 

"Kade I'm not running.  I'm still here.  This doesn't change how I feel.  Your still you.  I don't like or condone your behavior but that was the past.  I can help you through this.  I want to help you.  You need to forgive yourself first though.  Your, not a monster.  You can control it.  You said you've controlled it for the past couple of years."

He looked up at me meeting my glaze.  A tear rolled down his face.  "You deserve better than this Addison.  You shouldn't have to deal with any of this.  I'm so sorry."  He looked so broken that it broke my heart.  I slid over to him and wrapped my arms around him.  He laid his head on my chest and cried.  "Everything will be ok baby.  We can handle this together ok?"  I whispered to him.  At this point, I would say anything to bring back the cocky guy I fell in love with.  Seeing him like this made my heartache.  He took a deep breath and let go of me.   He looked relieved like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.