Chapter 16

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"I.. That is a tough question.. Where did that come from?" Lauren said a little stunned. "Well because we had unprotected sex and I thought about what would happen if you got pregnant and I liked it. Also, now Carlos won't be alone. So.." She gave her reasons.

"I don't know.. I mean it was hard enough to carry Carlos and I'm not even talking about the whole labor thing where I screamed in pain because it hurts like hell.. Not to mention I have my gorgeous body back." She motioned to herself and Camila laughed.

"You're always beautiful." She complimented making Lauren blush.

"So are you babe." Lauren said.

Camila looked at her for a little while. Before starting again. "So what do you say because you haven't answered yet?"

"It's hard.. It's not something you think about overnight..."

Camila could see that Lauren was struggling with something.

"There's something else.." Camila tried to get the problem out of her wife. Lauren's eyes widened at Camila's observation.

"You're acting like I haven't known you for over seven years now, practically I know you all my life but I mean it took me seven years to really get to know you.. So tell me."

Lauren looked down embarrassed. How was she gonna tell Camila what was on her mind without hurting the other woman.

"Lauren? You know how we talked about communicating with eachother and always telling the truth even when it hurts.. This way we can work things out better. For example if there's something I did that you did not like, you can take me apart and say 'Camz I didn't like what you did bla bla..' So then I can be like 'aha okay Lo, I will watch out next time.' But if I do something wrong and for example it hurt you and I wouldn't know and all of the sudden you would ignore me.. How would I know what I did wrong if you would ignore me? So that's why communication is the most important thing in our relationship." Camila explained and Lauren was so proud of how much Camila had grown.

How much both of them had. So she decided to just say it.

"I'm scared that.. things will go wrong once again. I don't want to have another child with you knowing that it may be a bet or you will leave me one day. I mean I know you work on your mistakes and I can see that you really love me and Carlos. But.. how long untill something breaks us again? How long untill you fall back into your old patterns? I'm scared Camila.. Because it always seems like our future together is never sure. I don't want to make it sound like it's you're fault just that.. I want you to know I still have trust issues. I still have things inside my head.. That I can't get over. I'm still recovering from all the drama between us.."

Camila looked at her, trying to mask her pain. Lauren still couldn't get over it?

"This is not a bet.." She said slowly.

"I wish I could say I know but I don't. Because what if this is a bet.. Besides what if we won't last long?" Lauren went against her.

Camila shook her head frustrated.

"What? The last couple of days went great between us, we fucking progressed! You said all those things about me and about my mother and how you love me and now suddenly you don't trust me anymore? That hurts like hell! You're making us go back again." She was so angry right now.

Lauren just looked at her as if she was battling something inside of her. She did love Camila and they had progressed but was that enough? Would they last?

"Camila I didn't mean it like that. You just don't listen. Don't forget what you did to me." Lauren said a little harsher than intended.

"I could never forget that but are you gonna bring it up my whole life? It's kinda like my mom.. She used to always bring up my mistakes from the past doesn't matter if they happened 100 years ago she would still bring them up..." Camila began and Lauren wanted to speak but Camila didn't let her.

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