Never Let Me Go

Find Yourself

Tobin pov

There was no way i could fall asleep after having alex over here. Especially after the way she looked when she soaked in every word i said about PSG. I needed to tell her how i felt, but i didnt know how and i also didnt know if i wanted to. It could change things between us for the good. Or they could go worse. And i didnt wanna make it worse. I called kelley again.

"Hey tobs."

"Hey kell, how was your day?"

"Good, tiring but good, howd yours go? Any more drama?" Kelley responded.

"Actually yea, Alex came over...just to get her wallet that she left, but she still came here..." tobin said, hurt evident in her voice.

"Oh god tobin, are you okay? What happened?" Kelley asked, panicking.

"No i am not okay, and just alot happened but alot also didnt happened. She walked in to the kitchen at the same time i did...and she saw the PSG contract. The look in her eyes was something thats imprinted in my brain forever i dont think i can ever get it out. It was filled with so much hurt and confusion kell, it broke me all over again. I ended up explaining to her how it all happened and that i have to leave before christmas. I gave back some of her stuff and...and she just stood there, she said goodluck before sprinting out of my front door." Tobin paused trying as hard as she could to refrain from crying. "She left her key kell, the one i gave her incase she ever needed a place to stay. She left it, a-and, i am not okay right now KO." Tobin said chuckling alittle but it ended up in tears.

Kelley felt so heartbroken to hear thost words come out of tobin.

"Tobs, listen to me, you gotta stop doing this to yourself. You gotta follow your heart tobin, screw what your mind says. Tell her how you feel, tell her that you love her. Because when you love someone you tell them, even if youre scared it not the right thing. Even if youre scared it'll burn your life into the ground. You say it and you say it loud. She needs to know tobin because i promise you, when you do, she'll drop everything for you. Everyone knows it, except you two oblivious idiots." That got a chuckle out of tobin. "Shout it from the rooftop of the tallest building tobin. Dont make the biggest mistake of your life. Just do it and i promise you'll be fine." Kelleys words branded into the front of tobins mind. Never leaving a single word out.

"Kelley i owe you alot yenno."

"I know but you can repay me at camp. Go get your girl tobin. She needs you more than ever." and with that kelley hungup the phone, leaving tobin to ponder her thoughts on how to do this.

2 weeks later

Alexs pov

I have been beyond booked with appearances since the trade announcement and it is wearing me out. But i need to get these done before Orlando. Only thing thats making it worse is that i still have to pack the rest of my stuff and thats just adding more stress. I called my mom up to help with things but she left yesterday. Surprisingly we got a lot done in the few short days she was here. I leave next week, on the 17th, thats in 6 days. 6days before i have to leave the love of my life, before i lose her. Completely. I am slowly starting to lose my mind about everything and anything. I need tobin.

I dont know if i should tell her how i feel. Probably wont make a difference shes still going to paris. And im still going to Orlando...to live with servando. Oh god how am i suppose live with that man, i love him but not like i love tobin. I could never love anyone like i love tobin. But theres one problem...im not good for her. Those words have been playing through my head since our last encounter.

Everytime i think about us in her kitchen, my heart starts to ache and tears flow like theres not plug to stop them. Her words were like acid to my ears and i hate it so much. I hate how i made her do this, how i made her feel this bad. I did all of this. Im a terrible person. Practically cheating on serv and ruining tobin. Great. I call kelley or ash almost everyday to see how shes doing. Its just too strange not hearing from her everyday. I break down almost every second im on the phone, hearing them talk about her. They keep telling me its gonna be okay, like they have so much hope in this situation. But is it gonna be okay?

Will it ever be okay again?

Authors note- this is really short i know! But it will be leading up to a big part and i couldnt spoil anything! I will most likely update again tonight for the 3rd time. But if not tonight then tomorrow morning! Enjoy!