Tattooed Hearts

Chapter 5: Confessions

"You just told me to not make assumptions that I know you, but you started this whole thing by thinking that you knew me and that you could make every decision for me!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. He wasn't thinking and it did come out of his selfishness, but he was finally able to release all he's been keeping inside for years.

The words that came out of his mouth broke her and it felt as if someone had created a hollowness in her heart. It hadn't hit him how emotionally battered she was until she ran to the bathroom and locked herself, crying. Spontaneously, he ran after her, only to bash himself onto the door. He knocked the door with a fist, hoping for it to open. Nothing

"Meryl. Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. Please Meryl, open the door." He begged

"I'm not a child, Maks. You can't just apologize and expect me to act like nothing's wrong. You can't expect me to act like the past years were just a blow in the wind. You can't keep avoiding me and assume that I wouldn't notice, because I did. You have no clue how much I wanted to tell you that I still love you. Truthfully, I was so close to telling you, so close, but you chose her over me and left me feeling like you barely had space for me in your heart." She whimpered from the other side

He slid down the door and pulled his knees to his chest, not knowing what to do. Silence engaged through the room as the two remained speechless. Looking up to the ceiling, he shed a tear down his face.

"What do you want me to do? I can't rewind time, Meryl." His voice cracks in between the words

Unsurprisingly, she didn't respond. Instead, she slipped a tiny envelope through the gap beneath the door. It's shifting sound brought Maks's attention into it.

"I've been keeping it with me forever." Her voice started to fade through the door

He picked it up, running his fingers across his name written on the paper. Turning it around, he carefully opened the flaps. He took the paper inside and delicately unfolded it.

"Maks,
          Do you remember the first time we met and you proposed to me within the first five minutes? I know it was meant to be a joke, but that was the point where I knew, I was going to have an amazing three months with you. We were so connected through every dance you choreographed for us. Even though we had less time than anybody else to practice, we were able to perform every dance like it was our last and we eventually won the show. People still ask me whether I was more proud of the gold medal or our win on the show. Truthfully, I'm still debating with myself over that. Yes, the Olympics took 17 years to win but winning the show, that changed me. Not because I was able to dance better than I did before, but because of you. You showed me what it was like to live. To be free with myself and to show the world the more to me than what meets the eyes. You taught me how to love. Not the kind of love that is based on infatuation. You taught me to love like you were the last person I was ever going to meet and whole heartedly spend the rest of my life with. There were times where we didn't understand each other and weren't on the same page but we managed to find our path back to each other.
I loved you Maksim. Every second with you felt like heaven, as if I was soaring through the skies and you were that one star that would guide me home. As if every promise was what it was defined to be, not broken. As if every kiss were a snowflake, each one special and unique in its own way, but they all shared the same characteristics. Each one landed on me and in the moment it was perfect, but every single one melts away and left me cold and lonely.
I loved you. God, how much I loved you. But now you've left me cold and lonely, begging and begging for another kiss that might not come. The cold winter days came and of course I expected them, but I just always thought that you would still be with me, wrapping your big warm arms around me, and giving me a reason to call you home. My shelter. My safe place. But it was a long, harsh winter. I would have done anything to get you back, Maks, anything. I didn't need anyone else in that moment and I was stupid because that's when I realized that I was careless. So, damn careless to let you slip through my fingers. Let me get this through you. I didn't need anything else. I didn't need a warm spring, I didn't need butterflies and bees and colorful flowers. I just needed you to get me through this winter. Because every single second of being with you already gave me that warmth of the summer that I craved and still crave.
I loved you Maksim
I still do"

He covered his mouth, dumbfounded by how oblivious he has been. That was all he needed to be certain that they both needed each other. Before he was able to react to her, she slightly opened the door and peered her face at him.

He stood up and smiled at her. They both got lost deep in each others red, numb eyes. He dropped the letter in his hands and took a step closer to her. Taking a few strands of her hair, he placed it behind her ear. He glided his hands down her neck and held it gently. Leisurely, they closed the distance between them. His strong, warm arms gave her a sense of protection she had been awaiting for the longest time. The gleaming lights in her eyes gave him the guide he has been seeking for. She closed the width between them, letting her soft lips meet his. With her lashes down, she let her thoughts drift off. She blossomed like a flower in the spring, finally leaving the past, granting warmth and color take over the dullness of a seemingly everlasting winter.