~Puppyshipping 100 Theme Challenge ~

~Excuses, Excuses~

Authors Note:

I saw some of these on tumblr.

Yep.

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Joey Wheeler is constantly late for class.

His excuses were so wild, it even got him noticed by the principal!

"I was fightin' ISIS!"

"I came unda' da realization dat tongues are just meat tentacles in ya mouth and was knocked out from da shock."

"It was a nice, sunny day, so I walked leisurely! Can ya blame me?"

"Sorry teach, my meth lab caught fire!"

(They investigated him thoroughly, but, of course, he didn't have one... Cause it caught fire! :D)

"I had ta stop, collaborate, and listen"

"Mah bed is more comfortable than ya school will eva' be."

"I was stickin' it to da man!"

"How can I school when Percy Jackson?"

"I had ta cuddle cute kittens."

"I had to comfort my sista', cause she thought the heater was possessed, I wish I was jokin-"

"I spent my entire night writin' gay Fanfiction."

"I also spent my entire night readin' gay Fanfiction."

"I was worrying if I was eva' gonna lose my virginity"

"Had ta travel back to the 1950's to ensure my birth."

"Fifty shades of late, ya know what I'm sayin?"

"I had ta buy a fish cause Findin' Nemo made me cry! Emotional times for me man."

"I was trapped in mah pillow fort for hours, I'm just too good!"

"Callin' everyone in dah phone book, and sayin' in a lemongrab voice, " MHMMMM ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!"

Everyone: That was you!?

"Cosplayin' as Liu Kang, I have no regrets"

"I gave mah numba to a girl and told her to call me when she got home. She must be homeless."

"I just really really really really really really really really really really really really really really don't give a shit"

"We can't all be Usain Bolt, man"

"Mah dog kept peein' in da closet. I put a vacuum cleaner in it. NEVER AGAIN."

"Drinkin' Pop Tart flavored vodka, yeah ya wish I was jokin doncha"

"Got lost in Wal-Mart.... AGAIN."

"I was busy makin' really bad card game puns"

"DID YOU KNOW PENGUINS DON'T HAVE KNEECAPS, GIRAFFES CAN'T COUGH, AND DUCK QUACKS DON'T ECHO AND NOBODY KNOWS WHY?!"

"I was practicin' mah insane breakdancing skills"

"I was wonderin' when hibernation started because I am 100% participatin' in dat."

"I was pretendin' I was a dinosaur! :D"

Everyone: How the fuck did he just say :D out loud

"I slept late and couldn't jog without seein' visions of my death and fast approachin' unconsciousness."

"I was makin' a Kit Kat salad"

"Huntin' titans, what can I say"

"Beg pardon sir but I don't really give a damn"

"Be happy I am finally here with the stunningly beautiful... Myself."

"RABBITS ARE TOUCHABLE HAPPINESS"

"EXODIA SMASH"

"Save the sssnakes.... Says Emily"

"Gurrllllllll...."

"Mood: Levi riding a giraffe"

"I never received my acceptance letter from Hogwarts so I'm leaving the Shire to become a JEDI."

(All nerds screech)

"I had to yell to my entire apartment complex that I'm not a bitch, I'm the bitch."

"Ban.... KAI"

"No Haru that's not a pool"

"SASUKEEEEEE"

"I had to deal with the fact that if you pronounce lmao out loud you sound like a French cat"

"My coke said I had to share with the deep seated psychological issues mah father caused me-"

"I'm gettin' tired of ridin' ya bi-polar roller coaster in class, teach"

After all of the ridiculous excuses, he was finally sent to the office.

Where he started the interrogation with, "Alright, Ms. P. Let's be honest. I just did these for attention from a boy in class."

"Let me guess... Seto Kaiba?"

"How didya know?"

"He tried to bribe me to let you off with a warning."