|Humor Me| ::A Michael McIntyre Story::

:: Chapter 1.27 :: {Semi-Finals}

Michael McIntyre's POV:

The First Semi-Final. That was tonight, this very moment in fact. I looked at myself glumly in the dressing room mirror.

As always- this was as good as it was ever going to get. I surveyed my grey suit with my black undershirt and tie.

I usually do not wear neck ties... but hopefully in the event of an emergency, it will strangle me so that I may die.

Do not get me wrong, suicide is my last option at this point. I would never commit to such a thing... but I feel like I could loose my life at any given moment.

The happiness and energy has all drained out of my system. I'm not me anymore. As I glance at myself, I'm an entirely different man.

A much more depressed, saddened, lovesick, poor, pathetic excuse of the man I once was. I should be getting over her.

After all- she's just a girl. A very young girl that hasn't even turned of legal age and yet I loved her with passion.

Had she not realized this? Had she thrown everything we could have been away? Again with the questions really?

I shook my head, rubbed my eyes, and let out a deep relaxing breath. I turned my head to view the other judges.

Amanda and David were seated on the white sofa in their formal wear. Miss Holden looked stunning as usual.

David... well... looked obviously like himself in all of his Hoff glory. Finally, mister Simon Cowell himself.

Back for the live performances. He stated he returned to 'restore balance' whatever that was supposed to imply.

I ruffled my hair, upsetting the make up woman who had just patted it down for me. It looked utterly ridiculous.

My hair is never 'flattened.' It's always bouncy and most certainly appealing to look at. No patted down boring nonsense.

I wasn't in a particularly good mood, getting angry and annoyed at anyone who did so much as to look at me funny.

David Hasselhoff... beware. 

It was five minutes until the show was supposed to begin, signaling we were to be on stage in ten. 

Ant and Dec had to make their announcements and introductions before we were allowed to show ourselves.

This would be a good acting experience wouldn't it? Having to waltz out in front of thousands of people, smiling and waving as if having a good time.

When in fact I felt the complete opposite. If I could I would attempt to murder at least every single person seated in the front row.

Yes- that includes the Hoff. As if matters weren't any worse, speaking of the devil, he began to approach me.

I mentally slapped myself and let out a deep internal groan. He was the last person I wanted to be speaking with at the moment.

"How's my little funny buddy?" he playfully punched me on the shoulder. Didn't sting nearly as much as Juliet's.

"Just fine thank you very much." I turned away from him, knowing very well I would slap him if I kept the conversation alive.

He only stepped out in front of me, causing me to look up at his smirking face. Is there a more annoying person on this planet?

"Soooo." he nudged, giving me a wink. So what? I could never understand what knowledge he could possibly want to gain from me.

He was such an idiotic confusing man. Was I supposed to suddenly break down and tell him everything?

No.