Thresheld

Worth. I had to write another poem about worth.

I only plead that you consider me a moment.
Know me the way I do-
let me tell you a story...
About a boy that was me,
A boy who cut himself to sleep with half a bottle of vodka on his sleeve,
a boy who became a man, who now has his heart upon his sleeve and resorts to poetry to save him,
because he can't escape the scars.
Let me paint you the darkest picture I can,
just so you'll know that I've become a man.
I admit it without fault-
I cut my self too many times and for attention from a girl I was too scared to lose.
I cut deep, I can't leave it out of my poetry,
because it has become a literal part of me.
I sent her pictures of bloodied wrists for a reaction, because I was a stupid boy,
never knowing when to quit,
or anything of self confidence.
I did it drunk most times in my youth-
There was no spoon,
I chugged what I could get,
even the marsala for cooking,
tepid and disgusting as it was.
I drank until I pissed myself again and again and I cut myself,
and I can laugh and remember it freely now, because I am a man.
I have watched more porn than you can find in anyone's browser history,
and even then I had a latent love of poetry ,
the rhyming spoken word of it,
and now I am a man and I use these crippling parts of my history to invoke a specific meaning.
I am poet, I am horny,
and I am man, imperfect,
and impoverishing myself to a fault.
I am an adult,
not because I am grown,
but because I've grown away from the blade and the booze.
I am stronger now.
I measure myself a head above those who haven't reached this revelation,
even though they can lift quite more than me.
I consider myself a well balanced diet of literacy while I see the world concerning itself with people's shoes...
I see the man in need of shoes...
I might not be society's pick,
but I'm a man, not a boy anymore.
I know what I have done, and I hate myself for it everyday, but I still love myself for moving on.
I'm branded, yes, but I still got past it,
and now this is my only redeming quality.
I only hope it is enough,
because I am worth what I write.