I take candy straight from the strangers hand
Red bull cans rolling in between my pedals
Rolling rocks and vodka shots
to take away my inhibitions.
I'm on a mission of self destruction
Don't want to listen
to the voice of reason
Telling me this is treason
My body is a temple
Too desicrated to have potential.
Still I tell my self I could be someone else,
Take my life, put it on the highest shelf.
But I got all this anxiety
ALL THIS ANXIETY
Are you kidding me?
I'm chewing on my cuticles
Until they're bloody
wondering if anyone will ever love me.
I lay on my colorful sheets
Lifeless like the dolls in front of me
Wishing the world was more like Disney,
But I can't control the world,
Only my surroundings,
So I surround myself
with pretty princess fasimilies
Hoping that they'll suspend reality
Long enough to take me someplace where a happy ending isn't just a facade, or what happens after an erotic massage.
And it's like I got all these thoughts bouncing in my skull
If I'm half hollow
How can my glass be full?
Oh wait, it never is
When I pour another,
This one's for my sister,
This one's for my father,
This one's cause I miss her,
Fuck it I'm just sad
I had to forfeit what I used to know.
Nothing to show save the scars, not the ones you see, it's the indelible ones inside that will be the death of me.
I'm guilty, and that's the truth.
Not grateful enough for my youth
Or the chance to change this twisted existence into something brilliant.
I just continue as is
Waiting to start anew
Begin again
Pretending I'm okay
what I want to say
Lost in routine
Pretending I'm not the one
Getting in my own way.
YOU ARE READING
Thresheld
PoetryMy life is a series of thresholds that I overcome through poetry. Love, loss, pain, regret, humor, irony, word play, and even sarcasm are as much apart of my life as they are central to my poems here. I am Thresheld. UPDATE: It's been quite a few ye...
