Polite//l.s

Thirty Three

"Louis," I whispered from the hallway of the cabin, "Louis wake up,"

I didn't want to bother him, but he had a tour scheduled for us in twenty minutes. We have to make our way half way to the other side of the lake to get to the docks, then we have to check into the marina office, then we have to wait for the tour guide, then we have to wait for the others to find the boat, then-

I sighed and realized I was over thinking. Gemma says I overthink too much.

I probably do. I've been overthinking a lot lately. But what if it's the adequate amount of thinking and I'm just looking too deeply into this overthinking thing and-

"Harry" Louis sat up, the covers falling away from his bare chest. We'd slept in different rooms last night and I missed him. I missed him so so so much.

"We h-have a boat tour," I whispered, cursing myself for being illiterate and weak and useless and stuttering like an idiot and kissing my teacher like an idiot and falling in love like an idiot.

"Oh, shit, forgot," he swung his legs so he was sitting up and stretched for a minute.

I looked down so I wouldn't be able to focus on the way his muscles flexed under his skin or how insanely gorgeous the low lighting of the sun filtering in through the windows made him look.

"Okay," he rolled his neck for a minute before pulling on some clothes, "It's a boat tour?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "Gemma planned a bunch of stuff. The boats really creaky and it scares me, but she insisted," I clasped my hands behind my back and waited for Louis to walk out the door first.

"It's fine," he smiled, "I like boats,"

I wanted to reply, but I held my tongue and just let him smile at his own words as he stepped out of the cabin, "Lead the way," he motioned in front of him.

"I-oh yeah," I could only nod with a horrible blush starting to grow on my face. Of course I would have to lead. He has no clue where the marina even is. God, why am I such an idiot?

"Sorry, I'm not thinking right today," I rubbed my eyes, "I'm just really tired," I guess I didn't sleep as soundly as I thought I had last night.

"Yeah," He nodded like he expected it. He knew that I didn't sleep well without him; and that just made me feel worse.

He knew that without him, I felt miserable; and he still avoids me. Does he even love me? I can't even remember if he's said it since we landed, even if he did it was probably to calm me down from a panic attack or something.

Jesus Christ, I'm so messed up. No wonder Louis hates me.

"Here's our boat," I nodded towards the marine, the blue and White House-boat with a canopy. "We have to wait for the others to get here, so you can just pick a table; I'll sit over here," I pointed to the corner where I always sit on vacations here.

Always the same boat, the same place, the same tour. Would it be too offensive to the guide if I fell asleep? I mean, I knew the content by heart. I could probably give the tour myself.

Louis flopped down into the seat next to me, "I know you're tired baby," he kissed my head, "There's still time to get off the boat if you want to head back to the cabin and sleep,"

Why are you so nice to me?

"We already signed in," I forced myself not to lean into his touch when he ran a hand through my hair. He's probably only doing it to get a reaction from me, he knows how attracted I am to him.

"We'll cross out our names," he released my hair and I repressed a disappointed moan. Why? Why couldn't he let me enjoy that?

"It's fine," I sat up straighter, "I can't sleep very well lately anyways,"