promises | jongin

09. live

april 8 2012

dear yuri,

today's our debut stage and i have to be honest with you, i'm really nervous.

sure, i have performed in front of many in the past but today is different. i'm scared to see if people would actually like us. i probably sound really stupid right now. these nerves are taking over my mind.

it's currently early morning and the rest of the members are getting ready. I've decided last minute that I wanted to visit you before everything actually happens. seeing you would make me feel happy. you're my good luck charm, yuri. so don't do anything to mess that up while I'm gone.

i don't know what to do without you. my good luck charm, stay alive for me to pursue my dreams without any worries.

wish me luck. i love you.

kim jongin♡

september 15 2015

yuri couldn't push herself to open the youtube site on her laptop as she held onto the journal in her hands.

when she had listened to exo's album, she felt happy knowing that jongin was achieving what he had wanted most. and nothing was going to change that. but at the moment, she felt nervous to actually see him perform live.

seeing him live was a whole different story. considering the fact that she hasn't seen his face in years, it was more than a lot to take in all in once.

and that's why she had trouble clicking on the keys to type up exo's debut stage. after a while of blankly staring at the google homepage, she let out an exaggerated sigh and clicked on the youtube shortcut.

she closed her eyes as her fingers started to slide across the keyboard. once she was done, she started opening her eyes once again.

for someone who hasn't been on the site in a long time, she slightly knew her way around. and that's what surprised her.

her mouth moved as she read the titles of the videos. she quickly spotted a video titled 120408 exo debut and clicked on it. she let out a few breathes in and out as she waited for the video to pop up.

she reached for her stuffed animal and snuggled into it as music took over the silence of the room.

her eyes were fixed on the figures who were currently standing on the stage as she studied each and every one of them. she chuckled at their slight nervous faces before her eyes had reached his face.

she felt her lips tug into a smile as she started humming along to their song. "not bad, jongin," she whispered gently.                 
after continuing to watch their performance, her smile became larger and pressed on a new tab. she scratched her chin as she moved forward to type up exo profiles and pressed on the first link that came up. her curiosity overtook her mind as she read through the names.

"i think i'm going to bias suho," she said. chichi, the family dog, looked up from the floor to stare at yuri before dropping her head back down. yuri laughed at chichi's shocked face.

her eyes were focused back on the screen as she read all the profiles to herself. before she could get to the last three, chichi got up and jumped onto her lap. "chichi, who's your favorite?" yuri asked, lifting her up to look at the screen. yuri went back to the top as she showed all of the pictures to her dog once again. chichi started barking once she landed on one of the last three profiles.

"oh, you like him? that's jongin, chichi. you remember him, don't you? he looks so grown up and mature. and looks like his stage name is kai. where has the time gone? that idiot has become a man. do you miss him?" she sighed as she awaited her response. chichi started barking in reply before snuggling into yuri's lap. "i miss him too."

yuri exited the new tab and leaned back on her bed frame as her eyes wandered on the bed. she blankly stared into space before chichi got up and dropped her laptop on the floor.

"chichi!" she yelled, going over to her laptop. as she went to recover it, music started playing once again. yuri frowned in confusion, turning the screen to herself.

it seemed like a new video of another performance had started to play. she wanted to exit the video but she couldn't get herself to do.

so she continued to watch. before she knew it, hours had passed and she had watched many, many videos of exo performances and their interviews. her heart felt warm as she heard jongin's voice and laugh once in awhile. she didn't notice at first, but she was crying.

"you made it without me, jongin-ah. your good luck charm is proud of you."

authors note;;

that gif deserves to be seen. i wish i could punch him in the face ugh. shout out to all of you lovelies <33

nehal~