Say you'll remember me

20. Everything

They managed to get The Winter Soldier back to the shield headquarters where Bruce Banner was running some tests on him to see if he could help Bucky in any way.

Everyone was around Steve asking him about Bucky and whether he was okay?

However no one knew that Natasha knew him too, she wasn't ready to tell them.

She was currently in a meeting with Director Fury, who was giving her hell.

"You had clear orders Romanoff, you were supposed to take him out!" He said sternly.

"With all due respect sir, I just saved Steve's best friends life, I don't regret my decision", Natasha answered.

"If that man was really the one Steve knew, why was he trying to kill you? You better hope Dr Banner can help him because if he can't, you Natasha, have put everyone in this facility in danger!"

Natasha just shook her head before walking out of the room.

She couldn't be bothered to deal with Fury right now.

Everything was happening at once.

She was marching down the corridor with a thousand thoughts flying through her head at once but one thing kept repeating.

James is alive.

She turned around the corner and spotted Clint walking towards her.

She didn't hesitate before running into his arms, wrapping tightly around him.

Clint was quite surprised but returned the gesture.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked. 

Natasha closed her eyes tightly.

Everything was just too much.

She couldn't cry, not here.

"I need to talk to you. Not here", she said quietly.

Clint understood.

Whenever things got on top of Natasha or if she had had a tough mission or nightmare, she'd always turn to Clint for a shoulder to cry on.

Of course Clint understood that Natasha always wanted to appear strong to everyone else, but every once in a while her façade would break.

Clint nodded before placing an arm around her shoulders keeping her close to him as he led her to his private shield room.

He could feel her shaking under his arm but to anyone walking past she looked fine.

The second they were in Clint's room with the door shut, Natasha broke.

She was shaking, having a panic attack.

Clint held both of her hands tightly as she tried to control her breathing.

"What's happened Nat?" He asked softly.

Natasha slowly began to calm down but as she tried to talk her voice broke as her eyes filled with salty tears.

Clint pulled her into another tight hug.

Natasha let a few tears fall down her cheeks as Clint held her.

"Steve found Bucky", she told him quietly.

Clint nodded.
"He told us, that's good right?"

Natasha sighed.
"It's a miracle", she whispered.

Clint looked at her confused.
"Then what's wrong Natasha?"

Natasha hesitated slightly.
"It's James."

Natasha had told Clint about James years ago.

He was the only one who knew about her lover and had sworn not to breath a word to anyone.

He knew how much Natasha cared for James, even after around seventy had past.

Clint blinked a few times while looking at Natasha, trying to take in the news.

How?

"James? As in your James? How is that even possible?" He was astonished.

"I thought he was taken by Red Room but he wasn't, it was hydra. They froze him, like they did me", she explained quietly.

Clint nodded.

He was shocked by the news.

If he was feeling like this, Clint couldn't even imagine how Natasha was feeling.

"Does Steve know?"

Natasha shook her head.

"I think you should tell him, you knew him to."

Natasha was silent for a few seconds.
"He was everything to me Clint."

He smiled sympathetically and put a arm around her shoulders as he kissed her forehead.
"I know Natasha, I know."