Say you'll remember me

37. Needing you

Natasha woke up screaming and thrashing around her bed.

She sat up and gasped desperately for a few seconds to try and remember how to breathe but it didn't seem to work.

Her whole body was trembling.

The horrors of Red Room caused her uncomfortable sleep most nights but they weren't always this bad.

She needed air.

She quickly made her way to the main living floor of the tower where the nearest balcony was.

As she walked through the dark room it felt odd, like someone was watching her but she didn't stop.

Natasha opened the balcony doors and breathed.

She held on to the metal railings with both hands and lent forward as the cold air slowly calmed her trembling body.

Her breathing begin to return to normal pace as she slowly relaxed.

She had both her eyes tightly closed when she heard the doors open behind her.

"You okay?"

Natasha clenched her teeth.

"I'm okay", she said with a raspy voice for her screams.

Bucky moved to stand next to her.

"I'm no stranger to nightmares Natasha", he said.

There was a few minutes of silence then.

Natasha used the silence to try and regain her self.

She didn't want to look weak.

Eventually she turned to face Bucky and took a deep breath.

"Do you remember Red Room?" She asked quickly.

Bucky nodded.

"I know the name, I don't know why."

Natasha smiled weakly.

"That's where I was raised, taught everything I know, but I escaped and met you", she told him.

Bucky nodded.

"Red Room still haunts you", he said.

It wasn't a question.

"Yea, but I get through it. You used to help me, do you remember that?" She asked hopefully.

Bucky thought for a second.

"I've had dreams where I heard screaming, I think I remember trying to calm someone down", he said.

Natasha smiled and nodded.

"You used to help me, a lot."

Bucky looked at her for a few seconds.

He was confused by her.

The way she acted was strange.

He obviously knew they used to be close but he way she looked at him sometimes showed more than that.

The thought of him and Natasha being together stirred a feeling of familiar emotion in Bucky's mind.

He wasn't sure what that could be, Natasha insisted they were just friends.

Bucky was no longer so sure.

He looked at the beautiful red head staring over the city in front of her, the lights reflecting in her glassy eyes.

He was sure they had something more.

He needed to know.

"Natasha", he said quietly.

She turned to look at him but before she could answer Bucky's lips were upon hers pressing a gentle kiss on her lips.

Natasha was suddenly frozen, she couldn't move.

The kiss only lasted seconds before Bucky moved to look at Natasha.

She had planned to turn away, to go inside and get herself away but she couldn't.

He was so close to her.

Natasha looked up to meet his gaze with her own eyes.

She was looking at the man she fell in love with so many years ago.

She couldn't pretend anymore.

She couldn't stop herself.

Natasha placed a hand on his shoulder before reaching to kiss him again.

Bucky returned the kiss which lasted longer this time.

Natasha wrapped her arms around his neck and tried to keep breathing.

Butterflies erupted in her stomach, sending a shiver across her whole body.

Their first kiss in seventy years.

Their lips moved in sync, meeting each other perfectly.

Natasha never wanted it to stop.

However, Natasha eventually pulled away as she knew she wouldn't be able to resist deepening the kiss other wise.

She didn't let go of him straight away.

She place her forehead against his for a few seconds to try and stop herself from crying but several tears still spilt down her cheeks.

When she eventually let go of him, she tuned her back to him so she could wipe the tears away without him seeing.

She tried to take slow breaths in order to get her heart rate back to normal speed but nothing was working.

"That's what we were?" Bucky asked quietly.

Natasha nodded before facing him.

She needed him to remember.

"I miss you so much", she whispered before breaking.

She couldn't pretend any more.

Tear began to stream down her cheeks as she slowly crumbled.

Bucky moved forward and took her in his arms.

He held her tight and this time Natasha didn't resist to hug him back.

She fisted her t-shirt as she cried silently into his shoulder.

"I will remember Natalia, I promise."

Natasha smiled through her tears.

He remembered her name.