Shadow Mutation (Book Seven) [UNDER MAJOR EDITING]

Chapter 40: Losing His Best Friend

Song ~ Lucy by Skillet

Casey Jones hates funerals.

After his dad's death, he thought that that funeral took the cake for one of the worst days of his life. Everything about it; the open casket, seeing the lid slowly close over his father's body, the coffin creaking as it was lowered into the deep pit...all of it was so heart-wrenchingly awful that Casey knew he'd never be able to forget it.

The only good thing is that he could walk away from that patch of ground, that spot. He could try to forget.

Not now. He can't walk away from this funeral and the memories that hold onto it.

Snowflakes drift down from the sky, littering the wilting grass with white. The cemetery is empty save for the huddle of black-clothed people, the sun just beginning to set over the distant trees and bathing the grey sky with pinks and oranges far too perky for the situation.

He remains stone-faced, his eyes stinging as he stares at the beautiful coffin laying among the scattered group. Eustace and Harry stand closest to the mahogany case, Harry sobbing into his husband's shoulder. Eustace remains silent, tears rolling down his face as he rubs Harry's back soothingly.

The Hamato family, including Splinter, Taylor, and Annalise, stand with the turtles, Destiny, and Sarina. The turtles changed their mask colours to black just for this occasion, each of their girlfriends dressed in the dark shade. Even Master Splinter's kimono isn't its usual red colour as he comforts April with one kind hand secured on her trembling shoulders.

Eustace and Harry took the overall news about mutants existing in their city quite well, hence why human patches weren't needed for the funeral. In Eustace's words, "Our little girl knew you as mutants. We want to know you as mutants too."

Casey always thought that actually seeing the dead body before it was buried was worse than an empty coffin, but he isn't so sure now. The case is already closed. Her body isn't there. It never will be. There isn't a body to bury.

The dark-haired teen looks down at his arm. It's covered by his tux, hiding it from view, but it'll always be there. That swirling black shadow curled around his arm will forever be a reminder that someone loved him enough to die for him. Zilla didn't know that her giving him her life force would mark him forever.

He hates it.

The funeral passes and the coffin is buried beneath the ground, filled with some of Zilla's childhood keepsakes and some pictures. The Nezbits saw it as a way of moving on, to bury some of her belongings in lieu of her body.

Casey wanders back to the graveyard once it's all over, the chilly winter wind rustling against this lean frame as he stares at the gravestone.

Zilla Nezbit
A fallen angel who regained her wings
1997 ~ 2014

"Why?" he demands, his throat raw. "Why'd you do it? It was my fault that I nearly died, I should've paid for that mistake. Why did you step in and save me when...when it all just ends like this?"

The black roses laying over her stone rustle as another gust of wind blows through. He grips his branded arm, shaking from the cold and emotion combined.

"You said that you wanted me to be happy. How can I find something to make me truly happy again when all along it was you? You made me happy, Shadow. Why couldn't you understand that? You made me forget about my dad, about Andy and April leaving me behind...how can I find that again when you've just given me another thing to remember?" He sniffs, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm sorry I didn't notice you when you were still human. We could've had more time to know each other. I should've realized it sooner. I should've...I..."

He keeps thinking of the words she wrote to him, everything she said looping through his mind repeatedly, telling him what she did and what her final thoughts were. She chose to give her last words to him. Even as he stands here before her grave, he's already forgetting the sound of her voice or the way her seemingly-featureless face could convey so much emotion.

"Please just find a way to come back," he begs. "I don't want to forget your voice. I don't want to forget how you acted. I don't want to forget us. There's so much I want to...to..."

He cuts himself off as he breaks down, horrible ugly sobs leaving him. He sinks to the ground, not caring for the cold snow dampening his knees. He buries his face in his hands, sobbing harder and harder. He cries for everything that's happened, hardly able to breathe as he lets everything out.

A hand touches his shoulder, instantly making him flinch and causing the fingers to pull back. He lifts his head up slowly, the cold air chilling his wet hands, and his dark brown eyes meet the sad blue ones of April O'Neil. She kneels next to him, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Casey..." she starts, unsure of what to say.

He squeezes his eyes shut as a sad noise leaves him, and before he can stop himself he's throwing his arms around her. He buries his face against her shoulder as he trembles, unable to stop himself from crying again.

"I can't do this, April. I can't," he says, hugging her as close to him as physically possible. "How am I supposed to just..."

The redhead relaxes, returning the hug as she strokes his hair gently. She takes a deep breath, not minding for the moisture on her neck or the quivering of his body.

"Since when does the infamous Casey Jones ever believe that he can't do something?" she whispers, her cheek resting against the top of his head.

He opens his eyes as his cries cease for a second, tears still trickling down his face. Zilla said that to him too. She believed in him. His friend's words echo in his mind as he shuts his eyes again.

April still loves you, the same way I loved you. Don't be stupid. Do whatever it takes for you to become truly happy again.

"I missed you, Red," he whispers, taking a deep breath as he cuddles against her more.

She laughs weakly, a few tears brimming in her eyes. "I missed you too, Jones."