Pushed [H2OVanoss]

Chapter 8

I've been up all night, letting my thoughts consume me. Running around in my head like horses in a race. Thoughts coming and going so fast I don't think I'd be able to describe what I was even thinking at that moment.

I do know that it had something to with Evan. I knew that for sure. He always seems to be the one running around in my head. Whether it be good or bad, he was always there. Almost as if he were mocking me.

It's like that quote, 'it's sucks having someone on your mind that you can't have in your arms.' That's a quote that seems to relate to Evan and I. Him, always on my mind, but never in my arms.

Sure maybe we've hugged as friends, but that's not the kind of 'in my arms' I'm thinking about. I want to be able to hold him and call him mine. I want to be able to see his face next to mine when I wake up every morning. I want a lot of things with Evan. A lot of things I may never have.

I was brought out of my thoughts as I heard a low groan next to me. I rolled over slowly to come face to face with Evan.

'I must be dreaming.'

I lifted my hand and pointed out my finger, reaching over and poking Evan's nose, making it scrunch up.

"Delirious?" Evan said slowly, "Why are you poking my nose?"

"I-I was seeing if you were real." I mumbled.

Evan smiled without opening his eyes, "Of course I'm real. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh. I just thought I was dreaming." I said honestly.

Evan hummed and finally opened his eyes. I looked at him, and for a moment we didn't say anything.

"Why are we in bed together?" I asked, feeling the temperature in my face rise.

Evan giggled, "I was worried about you and, I didn't want you to have another nightmare, so I let you sleep with me."

I smiled at Evan. A warm, genuine smile, showing him my appreciation, "Thanks, Evan. It means a lot."

"No, problem." He smiled back.

Nothing really happened after that. Evan shut his eyes once again and we just laid in comfortable silence enjoying each other's presence. Don't ask me what this moment meant to Evan, because I wouldn't be able to give an answer. I could give you my imagination? I could say he's thinking the same thing I am.

'I wanna spend the rest of my life with you'

He's not thinking that, I know for sure. I tilted my head to the side and studied Evan. He finally fell back asleep as I did so and started to let out soft snores that you could only hear if you were right next to him.

I looked down Evan to see he was only wearing his boxes. I glanced down myself and noticed so was I. Heat filled my cheeks once again as I looked at Evan's torso, starting to wonder what it would feel like to run my hand across is chest and down his stomach.

'Smooth.' I thought, as I felt my hand doing what my mind had been thinking. Evan only shifted but never did open his eyes, so I continued.

Letting my fingers trace and explore his body in a curious manner. Thinking of things I want to do besides this with Evan. Like, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him in close to cuddle.

And that's what I did.

I ended up wrapping my arms around Evans torso and pulled him towards me as he let out a deep breath. I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck and smiled to myself.