Twenty Three

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Pete strokes my cheek and our lips move together as one like flames. My heart is in overdrive and it feels like it's going to beat right out of my chest. I've never felt this alive before – it's a new feeling.

When our lips finally part, I feel a rush of anxiety. What if my lips were too dry? What if my lips were too wet? What if my breath smelled bad? What if I didn't move my lips properly?

All these insecurities...I start to wonder why he even did that. Why did he kiss me? I'm a dork. No one wants to kiss me.

Pete keeps his hand on my cheek, gently stroking my sideburn. Our foreheads are touching, and he's got his eyes closed. I look at his eyelids and bite my lip anxiously.

"Pete..." I say, so quietly it's almost a whisper.

"Shh," Pete instructs softly. "No words. This moment is too good."

"But why -"

He kisses me again, and this kiss lasts even longer than the last one. Inside my chest I feel my crazy heartbeat get slower and slower and slower, until it's at a calm rate and my whole body feels at peace. Even my mind, for that one moment.

When we've finished kissing we just sit there together, enjoying each other's presence. His head is on my shoulder, his eyes closed and his hand dangling at his side. Anxious thoughts buzz in my head like bees, but I try to ignore them and remind myself that he kissed me. But somehow I can't get my mind at rest, and I feel incredibly insecure and anxious.

After a while Pete lifts his head and sits up, giving me a flawless smile. I try to smile back awkwardly, and ask: "Pete?"

"Yeah?" he smiles.

"W-why did you kiss me?"

His face falls. "Did you not like it?"

"No no, I did," I say hurriedly, adding with a smile: "I really did. I just...why did you kiss me?"

"Because I know how I feel about you, and it's real."

"But why? Why me? I'm not special, I'm just Patrick."

Pete's smile fades. He peers down and interlocks his fingers with mine. Then he looks into my eyes and says: "You're special to me."

My heart flutters inside my chest. My mind is finally at peace.

-------

The next day at school, people congratulate me all day. First Hayley comes bounding up to me at the school gates and congratulates me. Then I go to the playground and Brendon and Ryan congratulate me. Next Taylor and Jeremy congratulate me, followed by the Farro brothers, Spencer and Jon. I even get congratulated by Joe and Andy! They approach me in the playground, Joe looking a bit more lively than Andy.

"So we heard the good news," Joe grins. "Congrats."

"Uh, thanks," I say awkwardly, trying a smile.

Joe's grin fades. "Just...Pete's our brother, you know. So don't...don't hurt him, okay?"

It hurts slightly when he says the word 'brother' considering I don't have one anymore. But I smile and say, "I promise I won't."

"Good," Joe replies.

He starts to walk away. Andy, looking very stiff, looks me in the eyes and says: "Congratulations."

With that, he walks away. Andy's a strange one.

During registration, Mr Iero asks to speak to me afterwards. So, when registration finishes, my classmates leave and I stay behind. As Pete walks past my desk he gives me a quick smile.

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