Over this last year,
I nearly lost you my dear,
I nearly would have been a widow
with no ever after, and no bed fellow.
This will always be my wake up call,
that end of March fright, with us all
shocked that you nearly, died.
And prayers only could I turn too,
and faith that medical aid was there for you.
Yes I was flying so high
and I came crashing to reality
without you where would I be?
This year of highs and lows,
will always be, the year,
that I nearly lost you, my dear.
So much more happened,
the world changed, turned on a different plain
It became an oyster, for me
but I pulled away, you see.
I just could not be selfishly
continuing with my own creativity.
How could I leave you to find your own path?
All alone with your recovery, no that wouldn’t be right.
Pulled away, closed down that I might.
And focused on my better side
that is my real life, reality
that is you the love of my life.
Poetry writing and art,
can be overwhelming at times
consumes me completely
that to you it must seem a crime.
I have to tell you repeatedly
Sorry but I do still love you, honestly.
Yes the world could be just that for me,
but I find that push the take me away
to my art and self, cannot be controlled in any way
All those thoughts, stories and poems, you see
pull me back for me to complete and for me to be who I am.
You unfortunately feel I don’t love you somehow?
Of being left on the shelf, without a real wife,
Like a long forgotten story, a beloved one
With the spine worn and the pages coffee stained
I read every page of you, and never not stop loving you
Preoccupied, totally absorbed the flow
just can't be switched off, please know.
For when I try it will grow
choke, destroy my mind with cluttered
Nagging garbled grabble- gook, and cells destroyed.
That is because I am hard wired to this, damn stuff!
See, it is impossible to just flip the switch.
For now, I grow older it takes too much strength,
You see the older I get the less power I have to turn away.
So I promise you I have still hours
to devote just to you, and I love you more
now that you have been saved from “the never after.”
My one and only love of my life.
Yes I am still flying so high
and again I will came crashing to reality
when all this poetry stuff is done
I will always love you, your my one.
Without you where would I be?
A widow sleeping in a cold bed.
with no one to truly love.
