Chapter 7: No Room For Me In Your Bed?

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Song: The Consequence by You Me At Six

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"How was your trip?" I asked my mom Monday morning.

They got home late last night and only had a chance to tell them goodnight before heading off to bed.

She kept her gaze focused on her computer, but she sighed. "The usual, Lucy."

My mood deflated when talking about this. "How is Zoe?"

Mom shook her head. "The same too. She wants to come home."

"I know," I said softly. "She still doesn't want to see me?"

She looked up from her computer. "No, she doesn't want you to see her and for good reason. She'll come around, Luce, don't worry."

My eyes burned. "I don't understand why she doesn't want to see me, Mom. What reason is that? She'll see Jason."

"She doesn't want you to see her like that," She explained. "She wants to get better before you're opened to that."

I clenched my jaw and begged the tears not to fall. "What about Christmas? She won't let me see her then?"

She hesitated before shaking her head. "I'm sorry. She doesn't want you there, Lucy. I'm respecting her wishes right now. It's a delicate situation."

My laugh was dry. "It's been a delicate situation for five years, Mom. And I'm sorry, but it's bullshit—"

"Lucy."

"—that she doesn't want to see me."

Her expression only softened.

"Don't look at me like that," I grounded. "You're looking at me the same way you've looked at her. I don't know what the hell I have to do to prove that I'm not like her."

She shook her head. "It's not like that, Lucy. I'm trying to protect you—"

"From what? The big bad wolf? I don't need to be protected. I'm doing fine. I just really want to see my sister." I stood up from the table and rushed upstairs before the first tear fell down my cheek.

I didn't want to cry, but when I realized I was crying, I couldn't stop. A breath got caught in my throat and stuttered on its way out. My bottom lip quivered and I couldn't control the pain that pinched my chest. My bedroom door was closed and I leaned against it, sliding down to the floor. I brought my knees up to my chest and buried my face in my hands while I cried quietly.

There was a knock on my bedroom door, but I made no move to answer it.

"Luce," My dad spoke. "Your mother said you don't have to go to the bakery today."

I didn't say anything.

"I love you, honey," He said. "I'll see you after work." His footsteps faded away and down the stairs.

I wanted to be left alone to sulk and feel sorry for myself. And I was angry and frustrated because I couldn't do anything about Zoe not wanting to see me. It was selfish because I wouldn't want anyone to see me like that either. I just wanted to see her. We were so close before this happened and she was basically my other half. And when you're missing your other half, it feels like your heart has been torn from your chest. My sister is my bad half, but still completes me and I'd do anything for her. Obeying her wishes was hard for me.

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