The Secret Life of the American Teenager: Aftermath

Chapter Eight

I'm trying on dresses from my closet and I'm getting discouraged. I pull out a tight-fitting black dress that used to look fantastic on me.

I'm barely able to zip it up. It was always tight, but it won't fit now. This was so exasperating.

This was going to be my fifth time seeing Evan. (Not including around campus or whatever but on like a date.) We're going to some fancy restaurant. I wanted to look good.

I'd been to the doctor's since then. I was almost two months pregnant now. And while I wasn't showing yet, I was bloating, so it was difficult to find stuff that fit.

I'd already told Evan about John and Ricky. He was actually really cool with it. Tonight, I planned on telling him that I was pregnant. I didn't want to ruin it because, well, I really, really liked him.

And then something caught my eye in the corner of my closet. It was a pink dress with black flowers. It was tight fitted at the top and then flared out below my chest. It ended just above my knees. It was beautiful and it fit.

I looked at myself in the mirror. God, my hair was so long. It really needed cut. I'd do that sometime; but not today.

I squealed in delight to myself. You'd never guess that I am 18. I sound like a 13 year old girl.

I skip out of my apartment and call a taxi to take me to the restaurant. I soon as I exit the car, I see Evan waiting outside for me. He looks so hot, with that dark, dark hair of his and warm, pure, green eyes. I can see the outline of muscle underneath his tight fitting shirt.

He takes my hand in his and kisses it. My heart melts at the gesture. Evan is so perfect. We've never even kissed before. Tonight was a special night, I could tell. I hope I wouldn't ruin it all with the news.

His eyes flicked over me and I see a smile playing on his lips. "You look amazing," he tells me, almost in awe.

"I could say the same thing about you." I giggles little. I'm so giddy. It feels nice. It's good to feel happy.

His hand intertwines with mine as we enter.

Our dinner is, to say the least, amazing. I didn't want to eat too much and seem like a pig but I finished my meal anyway. Evan didn't seem to mind.

We walked to a park afterwards. We were just sitting on a bench, talking, watching the ducks and all of the sudden he pulled me into a deep kiss. It was perfect. Glorious. Magnificent.

We pulled back after a couple of seconds.

"You're a good kisser," I tell him.

"I could say the same about you. Wanna do it again?" He asks with an eyebrow raise and wink. That makes me laugh and pull him into another long kiss.

I break it off. I feel so guilty. I need to tell him. Before it's too late.

"What's wrong?" He sounds hurt.

I'm going to tell him. I can do this. Amy Jeurgens, you can do this.

"Evan I want you to not get mad," I tell him.
"I can't deal with that right now. If you want to break, this," I gesture between him and I, "then just do it. No anger."

"I won't," he vows, placing a hand over his heart. Okay, that's super cute and sweet. No, focus.

"As you know, I have a four year old son. I almost forced myself into a loveless marriage. But I didn't. And I'm so glad." I place my hand over his. Evan opens his mouth to speak. I put a finger up to his lips.

"I'm not done. Ricky and I had sex in the few short weeks leading up to me leaving- you know that. And I found-" I stopped. I was crying. I needed to choke this out. "I'm pregnant." I staged the sentence almost like a question. My voice cracked.

I looked up to see his reaction. I see the disbelief, I can't be pregnant. And then I see the anger. I don't want him to be angry. Then sadness.

"You're going to leave me, aren't you?" I whisper. A tear falls down onto my beautiful dress. "It's okay. I don't want you to go. But you're going to."

My answer is silence. I take the silence as a confirmation that he doesn't want me anymore. I felt so attached to him and I'd only known him for a month. I was so drawn to him

I was walking away, trying to stop the seemingly endless flow of tears. When I'm far away I take one last look at Evan. He's sitting on the same bench and I can't be sure, but I think I see a tear roll off his face.

This wouldn't be a problem for any other girl. Any other girl could have care free love and have a bunch of friends and go to parties and now weight on their shoulders and burdens they'd forever have to carry with them.

I wasn't normal. I wish I was