Dolphin Tale 6

Chapter [22]

C h a p t e r   T w e n t y   T w o

THE GLOOMY AFTERNOON SOON GAVE way to dusk and a rich, bloody red took over the sky with an inky black creeping up from the edges, sweeping away all traces of light in the process.

Lorraine Nelson arrived at Clearwater Marine Aquarium later that evening and saw Sawyer sitting outside on the trunk of a fallen tree. She stepped out of the car and walked quietly over to her son, not particularly wanting to startle him. Her heart sunk with each step she took; even though she couldn't see his face, she could see the tears that rolled down the front of his t-shirt and onto his lap— tears glistening like dew drops in the waning silver moonlight.

"Oh . . . honey," Lorraine said, sighing heavily. She sank down onto the tree trunk beside him, looping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him in close to her. Her other hand caressed his hair, ruffling it before smoothing it out again.

There were some times in his life when Sawyer simply wanted his mother to leave him alone. This was not of those times. Instead of pushing her away, he simply sank willingly into his mother's embrace, his resolve finally shattering and falling to the pits of the earth. He was broken—just as broken as everyone else, if not more.

"Oh, honey," Lorraine repeated, now rubbing gentle circles on his back. It was a calming technique she had used when Sawyer was younger, but even now it seemed to be working. "Where is everyone?"

Sawyer drew in a deep breath before blowing it out again, trying to make his breathing steadier. He repeated this several times before speaking. "Inside."

"Have you been inside?" Lorraine asked quietly.

Sawyer nodded, unable to speak as another wave of tears spilled over the edge. They were falling like raindrops on the worst of the winter days. A gut-wrenching sob worked its way up his throat, and behind the sheen of tears, his eyes flashed in anger—the thunder and lightning on a stormy day.

The pain they felt was like wildfire—uncontrollable and unforgiving. It seeped through their veins like poison, unleashing its merciless wrath as it went, leaving them shaking like leaves in strong, gale-force winds, hanging onto each other as though they were the ropes that tethered each other to life.

"Where's Hazel?" Lorraine asked, only just realising that her son's wife wasn't with him.

Sawyer lifted his head to gaze wistfully at the ruins that lay before his eyes. "She's in there with everyone else. I—I couldn't stay in there with them; it was just too . . . overwhelming. I couldn't stay in there and let them see me cry. I have to stay strong for them, but I just can't—I can't stay strong and I just feel so weak. Hazel was right when she said that I didn't understand how she—and the others—feel; Clearwater Marine Aquarium isn't my home. I need to stay strong for them—I need to support them through this—but I just can't." He blinked and felt more tears roll down his face, unable to hold them back. "I feel so weak."

"Crying doesn't always mean you're weak, Sawyer," Lorraine said softly, looking at her son with something close to respect in her eyes. "It just means that you've been strong for too long."

Sawyer shook his head, frowning, self-doubt and shame coursing through his veins. The two emotions collided with each other in an explosion of sparks that sent his mind into overdrive. "I'm not strong. I'm just so weak . . . and I feel so pathetic. I'm just so useless."

"No, you're not," Lorraine interjected harshly. "Don't call yourself weak or pathetic or useless because you're none of those. You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. You are strong, Sawyer—you're one of the strongest people I know—but everyone has a breaking point . . . and this is simply yours. It's okay to cry, especially during a time like this. True, we may not know how Hazel and the others feel, but that doesn't mean that we can't feel sadness or anger or regret at the loss of Clearwater Marine Aquarium and Bondi. Sure, their emotions may be stronger than ours, but that doesn't mean that we can't feel those same emotions as them. And yes, Clearwater Marine Aquarium isn't really your home, even though you seem to spend more time here than at home, but that doesn't mean that it can't feel like a home to you." She sighed heavily before continuing. "Even so, while we still have a place to live, they have nothing. Their house—the one by the dock—is completely destroyed; there's nothing left of it; there's nowhere for them to stay."

"What do I do, Mom?" Sawyer asked, his voice betraying just how exhausted he was. "Do I just . . . ?" he trailed off, unsure of what to do. There were so many things swirling through his mind—ideas and their positive and negative outcomes—and it was all making his head spin, like he was seated on a merry-go-round that was travelling non-stop at the speed of light. He was simply exhausted—mentally, physically, and emotionally—and was a hairsbreadth away from giving up; it was all becoming too much to handle.

"You just have to give her some time and space, Sawyer. Her home was just destroyed and she lost Bondi and she needs time to come to terms with everything that has happened," said Lorraine. "Give her some time and she'll come around."

"And if she doesn't?" Sawyer whispered, voicing one of his deepest, gravest fears.

"Hey, I know it feels so dark, but it's the only time you'll ever see the stars," Lorraine said, reciting the lyrics of a song he knew extremely well. "Wish upon a star, Sawyer, and who knows . . . maybe something good will happen. She'll come around eventually, honey, and if she doesn't . . . boy, she doesn't know what she's missing out on."

Sawyer tilted his head and gazed curiously at his mother. "What do you mean?"

"Clay—sorry, Dr. Clay—and I have been keeping a close eye on you two, Sawyer. I say this from a mother's perspective, so it technically doesn't count—though Dr. Clay thoroughly agrees—but when you're around Hazel, you're so . . . I don't know how to say it. You're just so different when you're around her—in a good way, of course—and even Dr. Clay can see that you're perfect for her. You two are literally a match made in heaven, and it's true because you're perfect for each other. You two have a lot of differences, sure, but seeing totally different people fit together perfectly like two jigsaw puzzle pieces provides a certain kind of peace in an otherwise chaotic world. If she doesn't come around, I'm sure her father will talk to her, so you have nothing to worry about; she'll come around sooner or later."

"But what if she doesn't come around, Mom? What do I do then? Hazel puts the color and meaning into my life; how can I live without her? She's the reason I'm who I am now. Without her, I'd be the dust that floats around aimlessly; I'd be the piece of gum on the footpath that gets continuously trampled on; I'd be a nobody. Without Hazel, I'm nothing," Sawyer said, the agony seeping out in the form of glistening tears that streamed down his face in tiny rivulets.

"Come here," said Lorraine, her heart in agony at the sight of her only son in tears as she pulled him in close. "I used to think that I'd be a nobody without Spencer too, you know. I loved him with all my heart, and I couldn't ever imagine a life without him. Without him, I thought that I would be nothing. But hey, you know what? Things fell apart between us and now I see that none of that was true. When things like this happen, you just have to pick up the pieces and move on. Blissful paths often lead to difficult roads, but difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. I know that it hurts to move on—I've felt the pain of that before—but sometimes it hurts more to hold on. Just give Hazel some time and space, and if she doesn't come around, move on; you can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one."

"How long do I give her?" Sawyer asked, his voice a mere whisper.

"I can't say because that's up to you to decide, Sawyer. But you will eventually know when it's time to move on—your heart will tell you when that time comes."