Marching Band Quotes

#185

The sections and their probability of practicing over break:

Piccolo: 100%... afterall, the best way to shut up your crazy aunt is to drown her out with a high C

Flute: 99%... either they put their instrument on their desk so they would remember to practice or they put it next to the door so they wouldn't forget to take it back to school

Clarinet: 100%... wait... does a 6 hour loop of Jingle Bells count as practicing?

Low reeds: 75%... even though you all took your instrument home, it doesn't guarantee that it'll leave the case... and trust me, your director knows.

Saxophone: 100%... they'll practice until their parents yell at them for playing Sexy Sax Man on repeat for 7 hours, then they'll proceed to play Careless Whispers for another 5.

Double reeds: 12%... their parents hid their reeds so they didn't have to listen... but luckily, they keep an extra reed case stocked for this occasion

French Horn: 0%... who needs to practice upbeats?

Trumpet: 60%: some have ego's that say they don't need to practice, others go home and play a few notes, and decide they're already better than the rest of the band.

Trombone: 100%... it's not Holiday Break this year, it's Star Wars Break. They're at home, playing the Imperial March. I promise.

Baritone: 3%... they left their mouthpiece AND their music at home. Luckily they found their old mouthpiece from beginner band, and play the Concert F Major scale. Well, that's enough.

Tuba: 0%... you expect them to take home their instrument? It's not that it's too big, it's just....come on man it's all whole notes. They can sight read that during the concert.

Percussion: 90%... their parents have taken away anything that can be beat on and broken their sticks. They'll probably just use their hands on their legs like bongos.