Burnt Out

25

Chloe walked JJ to the car, as he leaned half of his weight on her. It was as if his whole life had finally caught up to him and finally he had given up. Not only could Chloe feel JJ's physical weight bare down on her, but she could also feel his emotional weight. On the walk to the car JJ started playing memories through his head as the two trudged through ankle high grass to the car that seemed to be 1,000,001 miles away. The memories started at his childhood.

13 years ago

"I'm done Julian! I'm taking JJ and leaving you! I thought you loved us but I was wrong and now I've left my son to carry the name of a liar for the rest of his life!"

"You leave now Carol and I swear to god I'll fucking kill you and the boy!"

"Good! Maybe then we might actually find happiness...."

10 years ago

"I missed you so much daddy!"

"JJ I'm so glad you came back son! Please don't leave ever again, because what's a life without my favorite little man."

"I won't leave you daddy! Mommy won't take me away, I told her I wanted to see you."

"You're strong JJ. You're my son and I'm proud of you."

Present day

Chloe looked at JJ as his feet moved lackadaisically through the grass and his eyes began to flutter.

"Julian are you alright? You don't look too well?" Just then JJ tripped and fell into the grass. Like Jesus Christ in his final hours, forced to carry his cross to his final resting place, JJ had fallen under the pressure not only on his body but in his mind. Chloe extended a hand but he pushed it away and picked himself up, faltering but still standing up straight.

"I'm alright....just tired.....just thinking..."

8 years ago

"Don't you fucking cry! You're twelve now and almost on path to be a man! I'll be damned if my son grows up to be a pussy."

"Dad please! No more! Please!"

*JJ gets punched in the face and continues to cry as a cigarette is pressed against his arm, burning layer after layer second by second*

"As soon as you stop crying, we'll be done boy! Emotion is weakness! Sadness: weakness! Happiness: weakness! Love: weakness!"

"Yes......dad....."

7 years ago

"JJ I don't know how to say this..."

"What is it mom?"

"JJ he's....he's..."

"Mom what are you trying to tell me?"

"Ugh JJ....your dad..."

"What...."

"I'm sorry son...."

"He's dead...."

"I'm so so sorry son, I tried to protect you. I tried to protect you from him. If....you wanna cry it's okay....."

"I'm fine. He's dead. No use in crying now. Sadness.....is weakness mom."

Present day