Just One Of The Boys

Begin Again

HI! I've had some really hectic things happen that pulled me away from basically everything. But I'm back now and I love all of you! So here's a REALLY CUTE chapter for you on a Wednesday because I love you!!
Here's some Sam Clafin (aka who I imagine to be KJ)

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It happened right then. He looked at me differently all of the sudden, thinking I hadn't noticed, and it was the thing I'd been waiting for but didn't know it. I don't mean anything extravagant like falling in love or something...It was more a feeling like when group projects were assigned and someone looks right at you or finding out you got one of those stupid school Christmas candy grams. It was knowing someone else thought about me for more than one second, maybe even thought about me when I wasn't there.

A few days after surgery, my body was slow to recover but I finally had made it home. The doctor sent me on my way with loads of prescriptions and it seemed like all I could do was overthink everything. The pain medicine made me stay wide awake for unending hours and the medicine for the swelling made me seem more alert than ever. Sleeping was simply out of the question.

As silly as it sounded to myself, I found myself over analyzing the amount of time I found KJ bringing me tea in the morning. The others visited, mostly Conner and Luke, but the absence of Alex was rather disheartening.

It had been days since I'd seen him, after the doctor explained I needed a very risky surgery, he just seemed to bolt out of the room as if a mouse being chased away by a cat. And so as I begged everyone to go about their normal lives while I stayed attached to my new bed in my new house at George and Tate's, it began to stand out to me how invested KJ was in my well being.

Tate finally gave up trying to explain to KJ that I would be perfectly fine without a 24 hour watch dog and KJ ended up agreeing and settling on that he was here for my mental health. Keeping me company and giving me the 'lots of love I needed' as he put it.

It was odd, having someone so invested in your well being that wasn't sort of required to be.

Tate and George were family, even if in a very odd American styled way. Carter I knew would never leave my side regardless of how many arguments we had. They were unconditional. But the boys- though I knew they were like family- were still friends not in the category of required to stay by my side at all costs.

And yet, here he was. Right by my side.

"Hey KJ..." I turned on my side looking to him slouched across the beanbag in the corner of my new room on his computer.

"Yeah?" He replies without looking up.

"Thank you."  And with that sudden gesture, he looked up, closed his laptop and came over to plop down on the bed next to me.

"What brought that on Lizzie?" He asks nudging me playfully, a carefree smile sitting on his lips.

"I just...for everything. I mean it's been hectic and I just...you didn't have to stay is what I'm saying...and I just... Thank you." I stumble out.

"I have to, you're my girl." KJ winks playfully.

I roll my eyes and laugh at him and let the silence settle in and lay my head on his shoulder.

"Can I ask you something?" My voice says quietly after breaking the long silence

"Shoot." He replies resting his head on mine.

"Why did you stay?" I whisper timidly. The room fills with silence and I raise my head up looking to him. His blonde hair was shaggy and I hadn't noticed the circles forming under his eyes or the was his usual smile was ever present. His eyes seemed clouded over, deep in thought.

"I-" he began looking at me before playing with his fingers nervously and disconnecting our eyes. "I owe it to you." He finally whispers back.

I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. My mind runs at the meaning behind his words, "why?"

But I was replied with by a shake of the head. I feel the sudden urge to grab his fidgeting hands and tell him he can tell me anything. But something inside me holds my hands back from making such a gesture.

KJ mutters something under his breath and shakes his head, looking back to his hands. I let out a sigh and grab his hand.
He looks up, as if surprised by my sudden movement.

"You can tell me anything, you know that right?" I assure him but he just shakes his head. "Come on!" I nudge him gently. "We've been through it all."

"Promise you won't get mad, okay?"

"Okay. Pinky promise"

"You're totally gonna get mad."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Just tell me KJ!"

Our laughter subsided and his eyes clouded over again and he looked at me dead in the eyes for the first time in awhile. I hadn't notice the absence of eye contact with him until now. And then he said it,

"It's my fault."

"Excuse me?" I immediately turn to him. "You do not get to blame yourself for this. KJ. Someone ran a red and hit US. Not the other way around. And from what the police said the only reason I'm alive if because you put your arm out in front of me and blocked that piece of medal from hitting possibly my heart. You even have the nasty scar to prove it."

"It's not nasty." He argued.

"That's what you got from that?" I roll my eyes at him.

"I feel responsible Lizzie. Maybe I would have seen it coming, if we hadn't gotten in that fight I would have been more focused and it was stupid, so stupid." He rambled

"You do not get to blame yourself for this. KJ. You're my family. You protected me, you saved me. Nothing could have been done to stop the idiot who hit us. And I count every little blessing I have right now, regardless of everything that I have. And the biggest blessing I have is you stupid." I squeeze his hand and say.

"But you had to go through so much and all I did was cause you more pain."

"KJ you have caused me nothing but happiness in my life." I laugh at him. And hug his shoulder. Within second KJ lets out a deep sigh and turns crushing me in a hug.

"Still recovering big guy." I laugh out as he squeezes me too tightly.

"Sorry babe." He replies simply, and my stomach fills with butterflies.

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