All Over Again || Rucas

Back home

Riley's POV

I'm staring at the doors of Josh Quincy Adams high school, trying to find the courage to actually get in.

I'm standing here almost an hour now. I'm totally late for my first class and I'm probably going to be late for the second too.

I know that in there, somewhere, my ex best friends are sitting in their classes, living their lives. And I'm standing here, trying to be brave enough to walk through the doors  of the place that I'd once call second home.

I don't know how but I manage to take some steps forward. I quietly get through the doors. The only sound that is hearable is my footsteps until a very loud, very familiar bell, makes all the student's happy, except from one. Except from me.

I rush. I quickly get into the building and find my locker. I have a new one now. It's not really hard to find. It's outside the maths cl---

Oh my god... Is there anybody on this earth with worse luck than me?

As I reach my locker, Maya gets out of the math class, with Lucas, Farkle and Zay behind her.

It takes her a second to notice me.

And then everything is in slow motion. Maya's eyes widen and her mouth drops. She takes a deep breath. It's like the whole world just moves on but me and Maya are standing there on our own planet.

When she finally is capable to take a step forward I pay attention to what she's wearing.

Jeans and boots. A blue t-shirt and a jacket. Nothing's changed. Now what I'm wearing. Ripped black jeans and a grey t-shirt. Black eyeliner that makes my eyes look bigger. Only now I realise that the last time they saw me I was still the girl with the pink dresses. 

Maya walks to me.

I take a deep breath feeling extremely awkward.

"Riley?", she asks.

Her voice is trembling but so is mine.

"Hey, Maya."

When I left the things between us were a little... weird. Lucas choosing her over me had changed our friendship forever.

"You're back?", she asks.

I stiffen a little.

"Obviously."

She looks shocked. Once again I try to remember that the Riley she knew was another Riley.

"Maya!"

I turn around. There's a teacher standing there. Female. I don't recognize her.

"Can you come here for a moment?", she asks.

Maya shares a glance with Lucas, something that doesn't  escape my attention, and goes.

I also notice that Farkle and Zay aren't here anymore. But mostly my attention is on Lucas.

"Hey.", he says.

I have missed his voice. I haven't heard that voice in ages.

"Hi.", I say.

My mind runs years ago, when Lucas and I tried to be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' and we couldn't even talk to each other.

"You look..."

Me chest gets tight. I feel that ridiculous hope that he will say something like 'amazing' and things will get back to the way they were two years ago.

"... different.", he finishes.

Different. Not the best. But truthful.

"Yeah, well.", I take a look at him.

He is a bit taller than before but then again, so am I. His eyes are shining in a way that brings back a lot of memories.

"You, too.", I finally say.

The bell saves me from this awkward situation. And then I remember what class I have now.

History.

I walk away from Lucas, murmuring a "see you around" and try to find my dad's class. It's ridiculous but I get lost. I used to know this school like the back of my hand but two years are two years.

When I finally do find my class, my dad's already in.

I knock the door and feel all the eyes on me. I hear people murmuring things like "she's back" or "is that Matthews?" but I try to block the voices out.

"Riley,  I told you to get a map", my dad said.

These two years I lived in Phili with the rest of my family, but dad and mom always came to visit. And so did Auggie.This morning my dad had told me to get a map but I insisted that I didn't need one. God, I hate it when he's right.

"Sorry, it won't happen again.", I say, looking at the floor.

"Take a sit.", my dad tells me.

I keep looking at the floor as I find my sit. It is a huge relief for me to sit in front of Farkle again. I'm guessing my father did something so I can have that sit.

I can still feel all the eyes on me as I sit down.

"I guess nothing changed, Riley.", I hear Missy saying, "Two years later and your best friend is still the floor."

Maybe the old Riley would have accepted this but I won't. I turn to look at her and narrow my eyes.

"At least I have friends Missy. Do you?", I ask agressively.

The class gets quiet as the most of the students can't accept that Riley Matthews actually said something mean.

"Of course!", she replies looking offended.

"Really?" ,I say raising my eyebrows, "Somehow I doubt that---"

"That's enough girls!", my dad says.

Everyone looks at my father and the class starts. I know that I didn't start school in the best way. And I also know that my classmates probably don't even recognize me.

.....

School ends and I grab my bag and leave as quickly as possible Josh Quincy Adams. I know I should wait for Maya and the others but I don't really feel like talking to them. So I just walk to the subway, my hands in my pockets.

On the train I can't find a sit so I just end up standing. I look around me.  OH GOD...

Lucas is sitting exactly where I first met him, but this time he has another girl in his lap. Maya is looking very comfortable. She's laughing and leans forward, touching her lips on his. He kisses her, with a smile on his face.

I turn my back  at them. I feel sick. Maya and Lucas are happy but still, I feel sick.

"Riley!", I hear a male voice calling me.

A take a deep breath and blink. I can do this. I turn around again.

"Lucas.", I fake a smile and walk to them