All Over Again || Rucas

Finding my friends.

Riley's POV

I sit in my room and look at the ceiling.

FLASHBACK

I walked to Maya and Lucas. She looked uncomfortable now. Lucas just smiled at me. For a moment there I wondered if he was blind or something. His girlfriend was looking at the floor and so was I. And he just smiled at me.

"What's up?", I asked trying to sound normal

"Not much.", he said, "Why didn't you wait for us at school? We could all leave together."

I just stared at him with my mouth open, as if I was going to tell him something while I had no idea what I was going to say. Fortunately, Maya saved me.

"Maybe she had somewhere to go and she was in rush, Huckleberry. But Riles, tommorrow, sit with us at lunch, okay?", she asked.

"Okay.", I smiled at her.

Then the train stopped and I got off.

END OF FLASHBACK

It's late and I know that I have to sleep because I have school tommorrow but I just can't.

So I think. About people.

Maya. My ex best friend, currently dating my ex kind of boyfriend. I used to love her but now I don't know. I don't know what she feels either. I have a feeling that she is not that happy that I'm back.

Farkle. Zay. I still hadn't talked to any of them a lot but as far as I know they are still the same.

Lucas. I still like him. I never stopped. I'm not that kind of girl that goes away and thinks she has moved on but hasn't. I know that I still like him. I know and that's the reason I feel sick when I see him with Maya. But what can I do?

Library or campfire? He chose campfire.

I finally manage to drift to sleep, with that one person on my mind, that I wanted the least to be there.

.....

I stand by my locker talking to Farkle.

"...they've been like that since you left.", he is saying.

Even though I tried to talk to him about Smackle and other stuff, Farkle knew what I wanted to talk about. Lucas and Maya.

"At first Maya was devastated but she learned how to live with it. She learned how to enjoy having me and Zay and Lucas around her. That's what she does, you know. She just learns how to live without someone and tries to convice herself that it's better like that. And if that 'someone' is away for too long she ends up believing her own lie.", he says.

He knows us so well. I smile at him.

"What about Lucas?", I ask.

"Lucas...", Farkle laughs, "He just died. Not literally, of course. But he lost something, it was obvious. He acted the same, but everyone knew that he wasn't doing as well at home. He started drinking, then stopped. He started boxing, then stopped. He just lost his balance, I guess. He tried to find it though. And he did a good job, considering that you were missing."

I find it easy to believe. Especially after seeing him kissing Maya and smiling at her. Maybe Lucas was 'dead' that at the very start but now he is obviously completely over me.

I look at Farkle again and hug him.

"I was devastated too.", he whispers and my heart breaks just again.