Copyright (twenty one pilots)

E I G H T |-/

"C'mon Ser, let's go home."

Pilot and I walked side by side, taking in the snow covered trees and frosted ground.

I wasn't sure exactly how I was supposed to feel, but I knew it wasn't like this. I'd thought I would've felt relieved, like a weight has been lifted off my chest. But in reality, it was nothing like that.

It was the opposite.

It felt like something was missing; like nothing could ever fill in the gaping hole in my chest. It was uncomfortable and heartbreaking, and stupid. It was so, so stupid.

How could someone I had just met cause me so much pain and joy? It didn't make sense.

"Are you okay?" Pilot broke the silence, looking over at me.

Though her cheeks were red, her beanie was crooked, and her hair was tangled, she'd still tried to go out in the cold to find me. It meant a lot, it really did.

I exhaled tiredly, debating on whether or not it was worth lying about.

Realizing she would notice if I lied, I decided to speak the absolute truth.

"I don't know."

That was all I could say, and all I could think. I didn't know.

"What do you mean? How do you not know?" She questioned, shoving her hands into the pocket of her sweatshirt, her blue eyes dark and confused.

She slowed her steps, waiting for me to completely catch up before starting to walk again.

"I just...I thought it would feel good to let go of them after what they did, but it doesn't. Now, it just feels like something is missing."

I was terrible at putting my feelings into words, and she knew it.

She kicked the newly fallen snow with the tip of her boot, leaving fresh footprints in it and looking out at the road.

It was relatively dark, even with all the streetlights on, but it sure was pretty.

Pilot had never had the best experiences with relationships. She was always tossed around and treated horribly, and it made my heart ache for her. She was a phenomenal person, but nobody ever acknowledged it. She had told us that she was done with boys, done with love, but I always told her that she'd find someone worth the tears.

"Maybe you shouldn't have given up then."

With those words, she strutted into the house, politely leaving the door open for me.

What was that supposed to mean?

I stood outside, my expression bewildered. I wasn't sure exactly what to think about her words, or about the situation, to be completely honest. I wasn't supposed to have gotten attached to Josh or Tyler, but somehow, I did.

And instead of trying to hear them out, I ran off. Again.

I hoped they didn't expect me to be okay with them stealing our song or using us or whatever the hell their intentions were, but I guess I probably should've tried to hear them out instead of running off and worrying everyone.

I stood for a moment, watching the snow fall around me in small flakes, and then dropping my gaze to my phone, which still sat in the palm of my outstretched hand.