Rainbooms and Royalty

Welcome to Ponyville!

Rainbow Dash flew into town, doing a few loops and rolls to mark her appearance before landing in the center of the town. She was aware of the stares she was getting from some of the townsponies who wondered who this flashy, brightly-colored, good-looking, new pegasus was (at least, that was Dash’s take on it). Acting as if she didn’t notice the attention, Dash trotted along, giving her mane a toss for her admirers and continued on her way.

She was about halfway to the oddly tasty looking building that must have been Sugarcube Corner before she found herself being called. “Ooh! Darling wait!” Looking around, she saw a pretty white unicorn with a well styled purple mane eagerly approaching her. “Such a marvelous entrance! And your hair—I love your coloring!”

“Heh, thanks.” Rainbow Dash smirked. “The name IS Rainbow Dash, after all.”

“And I am Rarity, an equally suiting name, don’t you think?” She elegantly worked a hoof along her coiled mane as she batted her long eyelashes.

“Uh…sure?” Rarity seemed not to notice Dash’s lackluster response.

“Such a wonderful coiffure, a shame you have it cut so short.” Rarity inspected it with a jaundiced eye which made Rainbow Dash feel like she was back in Canterlot being examined by some snooty rich pony like a bug under a microscope. “Ooh but the colors are all natural! The things I could do with your mane! I simply *must* take you back to my boutique, the dresses I could make for you!”

“What?!” Rainbow Dash yelped. “You can’t be serious?”

Rarity tapped an elegant hoof against her lip. “Hmm, you’re right of course.” Dash breathed a sigh of relief. That was eas— “We’ll need to go to the spa first so we can beautify you from head to hoof!” Rarity clopped her hooves together happily.

Horseapples.

“Look, getting all frou-frou really isn’t my thing.” Rainbow Dash said slowly. “So I’ll just be going now—”

Rarity pouted with a practiced elegance of a master. “But daaarling! You’re just so beautiful! It would be a crime against fashion to let a pony with as magnificent a mane and coat as yours just slip away! Pleeeeeease? For moi?”

“I *just* met you!” Dash exclaimed.

“That doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends, you and I! Tell me something about yourself.”

“Rarity, I—”

“Very well, I shall go first! I am Rarity, owner and proprietor of the Carousel Boutique where everything is chic, unique and magnifique! I make dresses and outfits and am an expert in all things fabulous! Now you go!” Dash relented.

“Okay, okay…well, I just came from Canterlot…”

Rarity let out an earsplitting gasp. “CANTERLOT?! Oh my goodness!” She gasped. “You are so fortunate, I’ve always dreamed of living there!”

She was surprised when she was greeted with an incredulous snort. “You *want* to live in a city where everypony picks at each other? Where they titter and look down at you for every little thing? Be my guest.”

By the look on her face, Rainbow Dash thought that she had just kicked Rarity’s cat. “Now darling, it surely can’t be—” The fussy unicorn started.

“It is.” Dash deadpanned.

“I-I mean there are the restaurants and theatres and the stores…” Rarity started.

“They’ll gouge you for every last bit, and then some.” Rainbow sighed.

“…and the glamorous high society—”